Need You More
by tmfan0500
Summary: Yuna x Seymour. AU. Spoilers. A complicated love story in between Macalania and Bevelle.
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: This is my first fic. I wasn't going to upload it at all, but I figured, why not. It can't hurt. So I have more, but I'm gonna try to do a lot of chapters and upload them at intervals.

This is a Yuna x Seymour, AU. It's kind of like, if they took a little (reeeeeally long) turn in between the wedding. I don't FFX or any part of it... or very much really. Anyway. It's all in the perspective of Yuna (for now.) Rated T. Spoilers!

Oh I put a song in there to listen to during that part. Idk if I'll do that more or not.

* * *

I tired to remember all the thoughts I had of him…

The first time I saw him, our eyes met, holding gazes for a moment. That wasn't uncommon, to happen, to feel a connection with someone upon first meeting, or even later. But on Spira, such things are… trivial. Meaningful moments are painful, as anyone can be taken away at any moment. You learn not to forge things too deeply. You learn not to put too much weight on an instant connection. Most of the ones that exist are from childhood, from surviving an attack together… family, friends that become family, like Lulu and Wakka and Kimahri.

Of course after that, we were chasing rumors of Auron, who we found when fiends attacked. And it was his aeon that defeated them all.

I didn't see him again until Mi'ihen. We had been hearing about the operation for the last few days, more and more as we got closer, until now. We were at the road block, unable to proceed.

This presented a lot of conflicting emotions, conflicting priorities.

First and foremost, my priority was the pilgrimage, always. This was obviously impeding my progress to Djose temple. Of course, it wouldn't take long; they were even saying they may be ready today. What was a day? That's how long it took me to even become a summoner. The world waited a day, for that; waited seventeen years, for that; waited a thousand years… Auron was the one who mostly pushed us to hurry. Of course he was speaking for all of Spira, speaking the things that most didn't have the words to say.

Secondly, the hope and anxiety about the success or lack there of for the operation. Some were optimistic, refusing to even acknowledge the possibility of failure. Others were anxious, afraid. And if they fail, the delay to the pilgrimage was… (not for nothing… but…)

Thirdly, the need for me to be support. If my summoning could help, or Yevon forbid my healing… shouldn't I be there?

Fourthly, a plain old gut feeling that I should be there, maybe that something was going to go wrong?

Despite all of that… despite what my priorities should be… talking to Seymour, one thing, one feeling was pushing its way to top of the list. Talking with him, something inside me knew that I could persuade him, with a tilt of the head, a pop of my hip, a softness to my voice…

That wasn't like me. I mean it wasn't like, Lulu, sexy and sultry, it wasn't like Dona, aggressive and confident, it was like ME… it was Yuna, Yuna's way of expressing myself, my personality coming through, confident, instead of being partially hidden by teachings or social norms. It was like me… but it wasn't like me. And it was gone then, back behind the smile, the manners, the respect. And all of my priorities were back in their proper positions.

I thought I saw his lips curl up, more so than the permanently affixed slight curve they have to a pleasant polite smile; and his head incline to look straight at me. It made me feel, friendly, like we were friends, not like he was so so high above me. And for a moment I had to remind myself of my manners, to thank him appropriately, to bow. I thought for a moment then, what my feelings were. It felt like a stone in my belly, pulling me down to somewhere I knew was bad, but wanting to just let it be. It was pleasant in a way, unpleasant also. Not at all like how Tidus made me feel, light, airy, happy. With him I couldn't help but be happy, like it surrounded me, clouded me and lifted me up into the sky where it's all blue and sunshine. The way he makes me feel is wonderful, nothing about it is bad. It's the other feelings, from other people, from Spira, that pause me, that make me wonder if I should get so attached…

Lulu had to pull me out of it.

Then we were going forward, listening to his speech to motivate the Crusaders.

By then, the weight of the operation was getting to me. The air was stale and dusty, morbid and hopeful anticipation clouded the air like the pressure before a collapse. I tried not to get my hopes up, because it is dangerous to do so before seeing the result, but I can't help but hope, a little… and with a little hope comes a little worry and the feelings got heavier and heavier until I was going along with the church's use of machina during the operation. That _wasn't_ like me. I told myself it was the weight of the situation, the church's involvement…

But here and now, I wanted to believe it was something else…

He approached us at Mi'ihen, he always looked so serious when he was walking towards me, always seemed like he was walking towards me.

The speech he made to us, to Wakka then, he argued honorably for the use of machina, for the people of Spira, and their pure hopes being so important. And he shocked us all with his apathy at the end. Of course it was… I wouldn't have said this at the time, or even thought it, out of respect, but it was arrogant, or maybe just disrespectful. Maybe he was impatient, Wakka did sort of repeat himself. It was unbecoming, but it also lowered the stone for some reason, deepening the confusing kinship I felt for the Maester.

We ran into Luzzu and Gatta after that. We discovered that Luzzu had encouraged Chappu to join the Crusaders, which upset Wakka and Lulu. I wanted to comfort them… but they were the only ones in the world who wouldn't let me. Anyone in Spira would look to me for comfort, for no other reason than my intentions to save them all. But Lulu, she put her hands on my shoulders and told me how proud she was of me, for my heart. It turned out to be her comforting me. After that, I didn't want to try with Wakka. He was more talkative at times, but somewhere in the middle had the urge to tousle my hair or hit my shoulder.

But I'm getting off track. I'm trying to think of this for a reason. And I don't have all the time in the world.

At the command center, Auron and Kinoc had some confusing talks. This was the first time I truly thought there might be more to the church and Bevelle than meets the eye. Of course I may have had reasons to think that before, but had always had a reason to stop thinking it, like with the machina that day.

And then things got bad, the feeling in my gut, well it didn't go away, but it turned into full fledged pain and fear, like this was its climax. Bodies littered the area, if they were lucky enough to remain a body… many of them disintegrated in Hellish way that only Sin could bring. It was painting, Sin was, painting a picture, with blood and body parts and hope and faith… I wanted to help, to hurt the fiends, to be up front, but they kept pushing me back, do what I'm good at…

I was able to fight beside him at one point. I was reasonably impressed by his magic, his ability to hurt and heal, and summon. I felt small, ineffectual. I wanted to make it stop. I wanted to hurt them.

It wasn't often that I thought of hurting anything, even fiends. It wasn't until I was so pressured by pain and fear, by death of loved ones. But sometimes I would get angry, and I would want to fight the pain of the world so badly, sometimes I would even strike fiends with my staff as hard as I could, with little effect, and I could hear stifled giggles but I didn't care because this is my life and my feelings!

….But that was wrong of me to think, there was only one way to fight the pain in Spira, and I had already chosen my path… Many things that day reminded me of that, the failure of the operation with machina, the fighting…

And him…

He reminded me that I must not waver from my path… that I must focus on my pilgrimage and fulfilling the highest calling in Spira.

My anger, my few moments of anger, of wanting to hurt something, they were wrong, they were imperfections…

He wanted to help me with my imperfections, he had the confidence to guide me.

It would be so nice to be perfect… to know that I was helping Spira to the fullest of my ability…

The stone sank a little then, too.

I didn't think of much else besides my duty and death on the way to Djose. After that, our next destination was Guadosalam, where I obviously would think of him. I might have on the way there, but Rikku's joining us was much more important, rumors of disappearing summoners was much more important, being a disappearing summoner! everything… everything was always happening so fast and then…

Then he asked me to marry him.

It wasn't at all how I imagined it. I didn't imagine it much, of course. The times I did was daydreaming of another life, not this one, not Yuna's… still, I had imagined something beautiful (not that this wasn't) something… happy. Someone my family was familiar with. Something without the painful undertones of Sin and the pilgrimage and making everyone else in the world happy. Something that was about making me happy. And to add to it, he even said "We must play our parts." This didn't make the stone sink, but made the darkness around it grow.

And then I got Jyscal's sphere… and everything changed. My first thought, my only choice, was to help the world, bring justice, even if it means sacrificing myself. Of course I thought of telling the others, of course I thought of it many times throughout our journey on the thunder plains and Macalania. But I never did because I couldn't risk anyone but myself. Of course I hoped for the best, I hoped he would go peacefully and it would be simple. But if it wasn't simple, I couldn't risk anyone else…

What did I think exactly? Did I think, oh let's go sacrifice myself to beat Sin, as fast as possible lest Auron let us forget, but just for a couple days I'll get married and bring a murderer to justice? Won't take long… Being here now, I wonder what I was thinking…

I was thinking it would make people happy. I was thinking it would increase Spira's confidence in me, and thus increasing my confidence in myself?

Maybe he can help me increase my confidence in myself?

Here in this icy hallway I began to ask what I was thinking, alone with him, and that's when he spoke…

"I am not a murderer." I had gasped quietly, and couldn't form words. "It's written all over your face," he adds warmly, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. I hung my head. I wished I had Auron's skills, to reassess a situation, damage control, whatever. All I could do was stand there stunned, frozen, and not from the ice surrounding us. He turned and took a few calculated steps towards me.

He tilted my chin with one long, sharp finger, forcing me to meet his eyes. Were they blue? Gray? Not the questions to be thinking at this moment.

"I was set up. The politics in Bevelle are not as simple as they are in Besaid. I would love to enlighten you, as my honored and valuable wife." There it is again, the proposal.

I looked into his reptilian eyes, and he relaxed his hand back to his side. We stood for a few pregnant moments.

"Let's keep going." I finally said.

"As you wish," he said turning around and leading us back down the frozen hallway.

Which is what prompted me to recall my feelings, every thought I ever had. The stone had turned into something completely different, a boulder, a crystal, I'm not sure what anymore…

We continued through the cloister, the puzzle I had put myself in with a murderer who was much stronger than me in every way, politely and effectively. 'I'll hold that sphere, your grace.' 'Let me push that pedestal, m'lady.' I wished it was that simple, honored to be completing a trial with a Maester, honored to be proposed to by a Maester. I wished it was even as simple as it was five minutes ago when he was a killer and I had chosen to put myself in a cloister alone with a killer like self sacrifice was second nature to me. Of course it _was_ second nature to me… I learned a long time ago that if I'm ever to successfully bring the Calm, I can't think too much about what I'm doing or I'll procrastinate…. Which may have helped to get me here.

I wished that I could consult my family now, now that it's too late and I didn't do it during my many chances to. Jyscal did warn me of this. Why would I think he was a simple killer; 'oh yeah I did it let's go turn me in'? My second nature to sacrifice may have gotten me in too deep before I even had a chance to use it for good! If I'm to survive long enough to kill myself for Spira, I must not give him any reason _to_ kill me….

So I must play along…

"Why would they want to set you up?"

I felt a little, just a little, more like Auron, with the skills to assess a situation and react.

"It is… complicated Lady Yuna. Why have you come here, alone with a perspective killer?" When his smooth voice said my name, I felt the stone take shape again a little inside…

"To discuss turning yourself in…"

"An exchange?" I nodded. His eyes dropped just slightly. He must be used to keeping them high, for politeness. "Why would I want an empty marriage? It is an uneven offer." My hopes went low then, my plan wasn't even a good one. His eyebrows lifted in concern. "Lady, my offer is sincere. Let us be honest, I know what you seek. Happiness for Spira, truth, justice. Let me adjust your bargain, to better benefit us both. Marry me, honeymoon with me, let me explain everything. It will take that long anyway. I will tell you this, if you come to Bevelle with me, Mika will confirm that I was set up."

Everything's become heavier, more complicated. Longer? Auron has been rushing us to Zanarkand. He will not stand for… a "honeymoon." And what does it matter, the politics in Bevelle? I wanted to bring one criminal to justice, not get a crash course in Bevelle relations!

But my upbringing calms me, and reminds me that I must do right, wherever I am. It would be easy to run from Besaid to Zanarkand, stopping for nothing, but it would be wrong.

"How long would it be?"

"As long as you like." Or as short as I like.

Okay, so I could right as many wrongs in a short amount of time, and go on?

"I will speak to the fayth." I say, before we enter the main chamber.

I walk, feeling his gaze on my every step.

Yuna and Seymour - _Stay_ \- Alesssica Care

I enter the ante-chamber, and pray, pray hard, until I no longer feel time go by, until I sweat, until I don't know up from down anymore. But before I become so exhausted that I faint, the fayth appears.

A beautiful priestess floats before me.

"Your heart is torn, Summoner. This will not do." Of course it is, it took so much out of me just to concentrate on praying instead of thinking. I stare, my lips slightly parted, not knowing what to say.

"My heart is with the people of Spira. I will do whatever I can to help them, no matter where I am. Is there truly wrongdoing in Bevelle?"

"The truth is yes."

"And someone must right it?"

"Yes, someone must… Summoner, take care of your own heart, before you take care of the world's." And with that, the woman flew through me, imparting her strength.

"Lady Yuna, they come, they have ill will." I hear him say through the door.

I run out, look in his face one moment, and run again. We run up the snowy path, I slipped once, into his large hands, and continue, through the door, we hear footsteps, and we barely make it down the icy walkway without detection. Once we hear the door to the main chamber shut, we pant loudly, catching our breath.

I can always turn back…

We retreat to the small dark underpart of the large cloister, cutting off the hallway up top. "How did you know they have ill intent?" I whisper.

"The Guado have a keen sense of smell. I could smell violence, mostly because of their numbers." His whispered words wrapped the air around us like silk. They wanted to hurt him? No, they were just preparing, preparing to deal with my stupid plan, preparing because he's stronger than me in every way… We didn't have time for this.

"All I know is I don't want anyone to be hurt. I don't want to fight." I didn't want it to be like this, running from them, I just didn't want to fight, and now all this pressure is on to make a slew of choices, ones for right now, ones for the very near future and ones for the regular future… a few stray tears collect at my eyes' corners and I furiously wipe them away. The emotion and the cold cause me to shiver and… his arms are around me, his bare chest touching my bare shoulder. "I didn't want it to be like this. I just didn't want to fight." I cry into him a little. "What will I do…"

The heat of his skin on mine contrasts the ice around us, adding to the tension, the feelings, the stone…

"Don't do it alone. What can I do?"

"I don't know…" If we see them in here, it's seven to one, and they're fired up. They probably wouldn't attack if I begged them not to, but how could I be sure? If we exit into the main part of the temple, then there are Guado in every corner and _they_ are outnumbered and feel defensive and wouldn't believe me anyway because we're in a room full of Guado and I just don't want anyone to hurt!

 _All you have to do is Stay…_

 _A minute_

 _Just take_

 _Your time_

 _The clock, is ticking, so Stay…._

"There is… a peaceful option." I looked into his face. "Marry me, now. There is no stronger argument to prove your conviction. Actions speak louder than words."

His arms are still around me, and the stone is there.

' _Take care of your heart…'_

I'm panicking and it's tearing me up and Sin is supposed to tear me up! Sin is the one who is supposed to bring me pain! I knew there would be pain before, I **know** that but I want happiness before too and… and his skin is warm on mine… and his eyes are gentle…

 _'My offer is sincere…'_

I look into his face, his eyes, searching for answers that I know have to come from me, nowhere else.

"Let's hurry," I say, and we haste to one of the rooms off the main part of the temple.

The Guado priest performs a simple ritual, quick, and before our last words are spoken, we hear the Cloister door open. Upon their search, they walk in to find us hand in hand, a Guado knot skillfully tied over our hands, fingers ringed.

They stop, the breath stolen from their lungs. They question, they are angry, but no one fights.

Rikku forces a smile. She is happiest. She remains quiet through the initial bickering, but eventually grows brighter and brighter.

"Guys, Yunie is married! Let's stop bickering, we should be celebrating some!" I smile, a deeply grateful smile at her. They simmer down, not immediately, but quickly. Rikku drags Lulu over to me and begins to gush and ask (happier) questions and drag us both for 'post bachelorette parties.'

Before we leave the room, Auron takes my elbow, and asks "Why…"

"For Spira. He _is not_ a killer."

"I hope you're right." He says dryly as he releases me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Yuna x Seymour. AU. Rated T. Side AU Story in between Macalania and Bevelle. Spoilers!

I don't own FFX or any part of it.

I've always loved the Yuna x Seymour pairing, or the Rinoa x Seifer pairing, etc. I have a thing for bad boy, bad relationship, you know, sort of stuff. Haven't found Yuna x Seymour stuff I like so I made one. Let me know what you think =)

* * *

Rikku drags Lulu and myself into the other offshoot room. She seems to breathe a sigh of relief.

"One thing is for sure, we had to get you out of that room. You must have been suffocating!" Her smile is bright, 100% of her happiness behind it, never a mouth corner held back due to the underlying anxiety of Sin and pain and fear. I wonder if that's what it is to be Al Bhed.

Lulu seemed to relax then, too; not all at once.

"I am happy for you. Have you done it because… it will make Spira happy?"

"Yes…" I say, lips parted, wanting to say more, but not knowing how.

"We saw the sphere… what about that?" Rikku asked, unaccusingly, while leaning on her palms.

"I had gone by myself to confront him about that, originally, and to ask him to turn himself in. He said… it's not true. He said he's not a murderer, that he was set up. I know that Jyscal said he was twisted, crazy, and that fits… but he said he would show me, he would show me the corrupt people and problems which lead to it, and maybe I can help…"

"Yuna, that's… a lot to take into your hands." Lulu cut me off, but kept her voice gentle.

"So is fighting Sin. I must try to do good and right wherever I go, whatever situation I am in. The fayth also told me that there was turmoil in Bevelle," I wasn't trying to fight her…

"Even if it's true, it's between the officials in Bevelle, it's for them, not a pilgrimage."

"Isn't Bevelle part of the church? And isn't this wrong? If we don't atone for our wrongdoings, the pilgrimage won't…" I didn't want to say, won't be worth anything, but I didn't know what I wanted to say.

"Do you like him?" Rikku cut in, and Lulu and I turned to look at her, twirling her feet off the edge of the bed. I smiled then, grateful for the mood lift, and I could feel my cheeks getting warm.

"Well… he's… I like parts of him. I dislike parts of him, too. It's not like…"

"Like Tidus?" Lulu asked, putting a hand on her hip and smirking. But she was right.

"Yes… with him, it's simple, I like him. I like him a lot. Everything about being around him brings me up, sometimes I forget about it all… But it makes sense, Seymour is a Maester, he's got the whole world to worry about. Seymour talks about politics, Tidus talks about Blitzball. Of course it's more fun to talk about Blitzball, of course it's nice, but sometimes not nice things have to be talked about too." I was losing my words. I didn't like to compare them, it was just easy for me and everyone else to, because they were few of the men I'd ever really liked.

And he's in that group? I did just put him in that group…

I like him? I do… it shouldn't come as a shock. It's a complicated feeling, but like is part of it. They looked at me, Rikku twirling her feet and Lulu holding her elbow. I could see thoughts running behind their eyes, but mostly, I think they were concerned for me, for how the others would react and what the future would hold. They seemed to want to keep me in that room forever, or until we could skip over the tough parts.

I smiled at them. One thing was sure, I could see love in their eyes, wanting to protect me, wanting my happiness.

"I'm okay, really. Let's move forward, let's inspire Spira." I said, and gave them both a hug. They both returned it, tightly. We turned to walk into the main room of the Temple, where the others waited.

They weren't so disappointed as it seemed earlier. Auron was, deeply; you could feel it coming off of him in waves. Tidus was a close second, maybe first. But everyone else seemed… almost excited. Surprised, yes, concerned, yes, but a hint of excited, I think.

"Will the pilgrimage continue," Auron asked dryly, sounding like the wind instrument that was missing from the Temple.

"Of course!" I said, aiming to please.

"How long will we delay," he added, same key as before.

Seymour and I stood in the middle of the room, facing each other, but a few feet away. He inclined his head slightly toward Auron behind him, and his eyes glared just a tiny bit. "My wife still runs her own schedule. She may go and do as she pleases." He slowly returned his eyes to me. "I hope you will join me for a ceremony in Bevelle, on your way through. Word will get around of course, but it would be much more joyous and spread faster if we have a ceremony." He tilted his head up, to smile at me.

"Yes, we will celebrate in Bevelle!" I said, happily, feeling truly happy that I could bring this to the people.

"I do implore you, my lady, to rest here tonight, after this eventful day."

"Hey, Yuna's still on a pilgrimage and she'll sleep wherever she-" Tidus burst, but Auron muffled him and walked him away a little bit to calm him, both of them, down.

I stood for a moment, under pressure again to decide. I don't do well under pressure, can anyone tell? It was just a matter of where to sleep tonight… I'm sure the others would feel more comfortable at the agency we passed. Would it disappoint him?

Would it disappoint me?

"We will rest, at the agency." He frowned. I thought he might have argued about the path down, but he replaced his frown with that permanently affixed slight smile, and let us be. I watched him walk until he disappeared into the room… the room where we were wed. The others came in closer to me, as well as Trommel. He had a prideful smile stuck to his face.

"Allow us to make the lady's party as comfortable as possible until departure." I smiled politely back at him until he walked away again.

"Are we ready?" Auron asked, making the coldness in the room blush.

"Shouldn't we rest? Stock up? Get the snow skis out again?" Rikku chirped.

"We're all rested; Yuna's the only one who's been runnin' around." Wakka said, cutting a little bit. Lulu grabbed him by the arm and glared right into his eyes.

"Do you feel ready?" Auron asked, never having taken his attention away from me.

"Yes." I bowed, and they began to file. I stayed bowed until they all passed, wanting to show respect, or regret, or something…

Tidus was last, and he stopped in front of me, and crossed his arms. His frustration had left him, his voice was gentle when he spoke.

"Yuna… is this really what you want?" I was the slightest bit startled, and I rose to look at him. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I heard the others continue to walk, giving us space.

"I want to make Spira happy." It was the truth, why was I so embarassed?

"But you'll do that with the pilgrimage, why do you have to do this too?"

And like that, all the rest of the painful, complicated messes I've been carrying for him came back to me. Oh, Tidus, it's not that simple… You think I can defeat Sin over and over again. You don't understand I have to fit as much happiness in a short lifetime as I can… or, I want to. I don't want this, right now. Of course the motto of the day has been about not running away from the hard things because they might be the right things, but right now… I don't want this.

"I just do…" I looked in his eyes for all of one second, and turned to follow the others.

For a moment, I wished someone else would tell him. I wanted to tell him it wasn't a marriage like he thought it was, that we weren't going to grow old together, or even grow into our twenties together… Huh, I'll never see 20… that never occurred to me until now… But how could I tell him? I had already tried to tell him it wasn't for me, was for Spira, wasn't for me… but he can't understand because he doesn't know that I will die.

We didn't speak much on the path back to the agency. I think that was just as much due to the weather as the situation. We ran into fiends, but we had already been fighting Macalania's brand of fiends and were unphased. At times, someone would look at me from up front. Well, Wakka and Kimahri, as they were leading. They would just look back, like they were checking if I was still there, and then keep going. I understood. After a while it got annoying. I don't know if I scoffed or clenched my teeth or what, but it didn't have to annoy me long before Rikku started to cheer us up.

"Yuna and Seymour, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love-"

"First comes marriage," Tidus grunted. Rikku stopped singing that song, she didn't want to improvise a line to replace baby. Who would?

"Are you gonna wear a big white dress? Is it gonna be poofy? Or slim? You're classy, you'll probably go with a nice A-line. Guys, let's vote! All hands for poofy! No one? Aw come on, isn't that what you picture when you think of weddings? Come on Lulu, what kind of dress would Yunie look good in?"

Lulu paused, then "A-line would fit her very well."

"Yeah! Wakka, Kimahri, haven't you dreamed of this day? Ooo, who's gonna walk her down? Maybe Auron should?" But then, she didn't want to bring up my father. So many things a girl couldn't bring up when trying to cheer us up. But she didn't give up.

"I wonder what Bevelle weddings are like! I bet they're soooo beautiful! The food is gonna be amazing! Oh, votes on cake? Yellow? Chocolate? Coconut? Ooo Yunie go with coconut I haven't had in sooo long. I wonder who will provide the food, Bevelle or Guadosalam? Wait, you don't have to supply anything, do you Yunie? No of course not, man it's gonna be wonderful to have a wedding put on by the biggest shots in Spira!"

I think she pushed us a little faster, which made me giggle.

We passed a few Guado on our walk, here and there. They all congratulated me, us, enthusiastically.

"Thanks, so much, from Ms. Yuna Guado and company!" Rikku answered at one point. "Yeulgh, don't go with that. Don't go with Guado, doesn't go well with your name." She added after they were past. Other than that I mostly bowed and gave my humble thanks.

It was hard to be happy in the midst of them. It was also hard _not_ to be happy, with all the praise and excitement (99% coming from Rikku) and congratulations.

It took the whole evening, but we arrived at agency. Rikku, Lulu and I shared a room, and began rotating showers and getting ready for bed (or slumber party or post bachelorette party or whatever Rikku is or is not planning.)

She kept us up a little, talking about dresses and shoes and cake and surnames, but either tiredness or manners or something had slowed her down and included us much more in the conversation. It was useless anyway; Bevelle would be providing and planning everything. We didn't have time to shop. Thoughts crossed my mind of who I should talk to, who I wanted to talk to, who I owed explanations to, but I gave in to my tiredness and kept the night simple and light and got ready to crawl in bed. Before that, Lulu came over and hugged me tight for a minute.

"I really am happy for you." she said. After the minute, she placed her hands on my shoulders and looked at me. "I am. Try to be happy, try to enjoy this. We will support you no matter what you do." Rikku added a little "yeah" from her perch on her bed. I think they meant if I wanted to give up the pilgrimage to be a wife. I saw a little less darkness in Lulu's eyes, so I think that's what she meant. I gave them my sincere thanks and crawled into bed.

As I waited for sleep, the last thoughts I had were wondering if I would be sharing his bed for the next few weeks…


	3. Chapter 3

Need You More

Yuna x Seymour. AU. I don't own FFX or any part of it. Rated T. Spoilers!

Short chapter. =)

* * *

I awoke before the others.

Auron was sitting at a table in the lobby. I quietly sat myself across from him.

I could feel that this needed to happen. We were brought two cups of tea.

"He told you that there is disarray in Bevelle."

"Mhm."

"And you want to fix it, to bring the wrongful to justice, to inspire Spira…" He spoke like something bitter was on his tongue.

"Y-yes." I was confident, despite the stutter. He looked at me with his one eye over top of his glasses. His face reminded me of how I feel when I can't tell Tidus the truth. "Sir, please advise me, please say what is on your mind."

He drew a deep sigh. "I was a warrior monk, a long time ago. I was going to take Kinoc's position as leader of the warrior monks, until I refused to marry to make others happy." He looked at me with that eye again, wrinkling his forehead, and quickly went back to his story. "I was disgraced. They were furious, they wanted to exile me, until I found a friend that I had had something in common with, only quite opposite. They wanted your father _not_ to marry to make them happy, which he did not do. We were a partnership of outcasts, facing exile.

"Until we vowed to pilgirmage." His hand rested on his flask for a moment, then returned to his lap. "Then we had their support. That is Bevelle politics. You do what they want to make them happy, you have an agreement, you mutually benefit." He turned his body to face me now, looked me in the eyes, and placed a gloved index finger on the table, pointing at one of the abstract shapes which designed it, "but somebody gets hurt." He stopped pointing at the shape, and let it sink in.

"Whether you sacrifice yourself for the 'greater good' or not, somebody gets hurt. You either hurt somebody by standing up, or by standing down. You hurt the ones you stand up to, or you hurt the ones you stand down for." He got up at this point, leaving a cold cup of tea lonely. Mine was lonely, too, I suppose. I had wanted it, but now… there were more important things on my mind.

I didn't realize I had so much in common with Auron and my father. I didn't realize how often marriages are forged under pressure. I mean I knew it happened, but being reminded that it happened to my loved ones brought it closer to home. I didn't feel so alone then, which was nice.

"Auron," I called before he got too far away. "Did you dislike your betrothed?"

"I never even met her." He said, like dropping the last two coins in the collection plate, before going through the doorway.

Well it wasn't quite the same then…

I had met my fiance before we married.

And I liked him.

The sun was still rising over the bluish white horizon. It was very early. With a freshly hot tea, I watched it outside for a few minutes.

But then, a group of Guado were approaching.

"We're here to transport to Bevelle. We must haste." A minty looking one said.

"The others?" I said, waking up quickly and fidgeting around.

"Separate escort. Come, we must haste." Another repeated. I didn't want to go without my guardians… but this wasn't a trip to a Temple… so I went along.

Looks like the Guado are putting up the wedding.

I walked, carefully, in my high heeled white shoes. I had never worn anything so… precarious. I tried hard to remember the steps to take, along with the tips of how to walk in the shoes at all. Feathered white material tickled my thighs.

I have to admit, I do feel beautiful. Stunning. Glowing.

They had spent so much time prepping and preening me this morning. They taught me as many customs as accessories I tried on.

I walked side by side with him. He wore what I assume to be formal Bevellian wear… He looked… less garish. One long blue spike of hair still protruded from his cap, but I didn't mind. Would he be him without it?

We arrived at the top, a system of bridges designed to highlight us. I knew it was the ceremony, truthfully; the marriage was already done. Still some part of me wanted to run, sprint. Cold feet? After spending so much time in Macalania? After spending so much time getting dolled up that there was no time to think.

This wasn't the time to think.

What was there to think about? It doesn't matter. The marriage won't even last a year, with Auron dragging us to Zanarkand. It will make Spira happy…

Will it make me happy?

As we faced each other, I was able to steal glances at my guardians - my family - in the crowd…

Some type of burdened looks were on their faces…

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of two very loved, very wonderful patrons of Yevon." Mika began. I struggled not to keep glancing at my guardians, worried for what they were thinking. "Lady Yuna, esteemed Summoner on her pilgrimage to Zanarkand; and Maester Seymour, half Guado, half human Maester of Yevon, deepening the bonds between us all. Strengthening hope for all of Spira. What a powerful team." Out of the corner of my eye, below the red cowl, I saw Auron mouthing something…

"Maester Seymour, do you take Lady Yuna, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health…"

-w…we…-

"Yes, I do."

-a…aaar….aarrreee..-

"Lady Yuna, do you take Maester Seymour, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health…."

-p…-

Eyes are on me… crowds are waiting on me…

"Y-Yes, I do."

Before he drew me in for a kiss (our first kiss…) I saw him finish the last word…

-pr..pris…prisoners…-


	4. Chapter 4

Yuna x Seymour. Rated T. I don't own FFX or any part of it. AU. Spoilers!

* * *

I was angry-furious. I was so furious, that I was calm. So calm. Light, almost. I walked down the aisle again with a smile, waving, laughing, all the way to my eyes. I think I saw Auron give me a look like he was worried for my sanity, maybe. But he also wasn't sure if I had read his lips or not.

I had. I was furious. I was thinking of all the things I would say to him, the anger I would spit at him, while waving and smiling to the monks and civilians.

"Seymour, I need to talk to you alone, as soon as possible," I whispered into his ear as soon as the break in the crowd seemed right. He had a surprised look on his face. What did he think I meant?

He gently led me by the arm down an offshoot bridge along the network of bridges, glowing orange and blue and stone… it truly was beautiful. I grew up in Bevelle, but I felt that no amount of time spent here would dilute the awe of how spectacular it really is.

After a minute or two we came to a doorway, an inn…

"Seymour, it's not like that."

"But you need to speak with me in private, yes?" I nodded, we entered. The innkeeper didn't seem surprised, which made me a bit angry as well. What did he think was going to happen?

As soon as we entered the room, my face darkened and I threw my hands in the air,

" **Prisoners**? You took my guardians _**prisoner**_?! How could you-" He tried to speak, but I wouldn't let him, "Excuse me? Did the  middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? **Stop**! How could you! Is this a _game_ to you? You play all nice and proper and Lady this and miss that, just to try to pull one over on me? They have laid down their lives for me! If you're playing a game you're pretty darn bad at it, playing with the most valuable pieces like this, at least the most valuable if I'm worth anything to you! Didn't you see me risk my life in front of your eyes for them? Of course I'm sure I'm not worth anything to you at al-"

"Stop! That is enough, you can't-"

"No you stop! I told you to stop!"

"No! Not when you talk about yourself like that."

"Like what? Like the truth, that I'm just a pawn and worth-"

"You are worth everything to me! That is exactly why this was done!"

I stopped.

We were both huffing and puffing by this point… me more than him.

"…Okay. Explain." I crossed my arms.

"When you were separated from them, and after they were in our care… They spoke of opposing us,"

"That's not good enough!-"

" **Wait**! Please!" He seemed annoyed almost, but remained polite, remained… affected by what I had said. "They spoke of kidnapping you back, of rushing you to Zanarkand, to skip this 'silly hold up…' They said terrible things… but I… I couldn't bear the thought of you rushing to Zanarkand and dying tomorrow. Or even the day after. I…" He looked at the ground. His face became unreadable… I took a step closer to him, to try to look at his eyes, to figure out what was going on. He straightened up and returned my gaze.

"I love you.

"I respect your pilgrimage. I admire it, I admire your choices, and I love you all the more for them.

"But… I am allowed to want to spend a little time with you, not have you kidnapped out from under me before, or even after, we even get to be married." His permanently affixed smile was gone. He wasn't frowning, but not smiling.

We stood for long moments. Only a few seconds but they felt like minutes. He was nervous, but sure of himself at the same time, I could tell.

"I may have… overreacted… by taking them prisoner…" He looked at the ground then.

"Seymour…" I didn't know what to say. I just knew I must say something, because he was sinking, and that… wasn't good. But I didn't know what to say. I was just taking it all in.

I leaned forward to hug him. Just a hug, just to break the tension, to… I don't know. He embraced me in return.

I thought a lot in that moment. It's hard, when someone says they love you, not to think about your feelings for them. Why, once when I was a little girl, a boy, Zane, confessed his love for me. We were preteens. It ate at me, day after day, until one day I just kissed him! I couldn't stand the awkwardness anymore! And then we laughed and any feelings dissolved into jokes and the ordeal was over with. But man, you can't ignore it when someone says that. Of course I didn't love him, not right then. But I had feelings of attraction for him, at times anyway.

But he still imprisoned my family! I was still angry. He admitted that it may have been a mistake, overreacting… but I also… I don't want to think it… (understood, a little.)

I put my hands on his shoulders and moved to look at him, grumpy face still in place, ready to speak, but-

"I am so honored to have you as my wife. Your strength, your resolve… You held all that in, you smiled and laughed like you hadn't a care in the world, and you still had the strength to yell at me afterwards. That is powerful, Lady Yuna," Oh no, I hadn't been using formalities… but… I was very angry…

I was kind of taken aback.

But not all the way.

"I'm still mad. Mistake-" he looked a little pretentious when I said the word, "Or not.  
"Why should I believe you anyway? Your father is sounding more and more credible."

"I can only hope you have faith."

"You release them, immediately."

"I will release them as soon as possible."

"…What does that mean…"

"There is… a 48 hour waiting period before-"

" **What!** " I pushed off of him. "You made such an irrational, ill-planned decision like that knowing there was a waiting period? Two days?!"

We went back and forth for a while…

I suppose it's Bevelle's customs to hold prisoners, specifically those of conspiracy, for 48 hours to complete an investigation. It removes the chance of human error, due to multiple interviewers and time to look over evidence thoroughly.

Even when evidence is standing right in front of you.

"You will overrule it and release them immediately!"

"Even I can't do that!"

"Ooooo…" I balled my fists at my sides. "Then I am going to Zanarkand, right now!"

"You won't make it! You wouldn't be strong enough as you are to obtain the final aeon anyway!"

"You aren't strong enough to get what you want without killing and imprisoning people!"

… We went back and forth for a while…

I never fought with someone like that. I never spit my hatred at anyone, truly, like that before. Of course I fantasized about it, but in the moment, I rolled over… I don't know if it was my death march, or the fact that he was my husband, or simply uncontrollable rage that allowed me to let loose.

"You will move them from the Via Purifico to the most comfortable quarters you have until the two days is up!"

"Agreed, if you calm down and rest here for a couple hours," I could almost sense a "sheesh" with how exhausted he was in that statement.

"No! I'm going to be with them every hour until they are released!"

"Then freeze in the Via!"

We glared at each other with hard faces.

His softened before mine, just like it had at every other point in the fight.

It wasn't unreasonable. I could see in his face that he truly didn't want me to freeze, and he truly wanted me to rest for my own health.

"…Fine. I will stay here for two hours, and then I shall visit them, in their **comfortable** quarters…" He tilted his head up, not quite smiling, but satisfied. I sat on the bed, arms crossed. We stayed for a minute, and then he turned to exit the room.

 _Take me as your pillar of strength…_

Before he took the step through the opened door, I called… "Seymour…"

His eyes darted up to look at me, but it seemed like his whole body perked up.

"Come here."

He obeyed, knowing. Somehow, I felt the need to cry, after all the emotions and shouting, I felt my eyes welling up and… and I wanted his arms around me again. He knew, somehow, his body knew, or something, because he did it all in flowing motions and movements, with long spindly hands and fingers winding around me.

It lasted only a few minutes. I make it a point to cry alone, to hide my pain from the world so that they can be happy, look to me as a source of happiness… It results in long, hard, heaving crying sessions. He had seen me cry once, in Macalania. I supposed it wasn't so long ago, that he could be there again.

It's hard not to think of your feelings for someone when they tell you they love you.

It's also hard to deal with being married to a man who imprisons your family from overreacting.

When is the next day that I won't be torn between powerful emotions?

My life is as two toned as my eyes…

And I let him hold me while I broke down. It's normal, right? To let your husband comfort you? If he's willing, after a nasty fight like we had. After a few minutes, I broke us apart, looked at him and thanked him. I think he laughed a little.

"Don't thank me, my lovely wife." After all the ugly things I said to him, I had to smile for the fact that he still saw me that way. He took it upon himself to exit then, and I was glad for it.

I lay myself down on the bed then, trying to relax, thinking.

I think I fell asleep.

I dreamed. I dreamed of the wedding, of laughing and smiling, of dancing, dancing so much, in circles, so fast… I dreamed of dancing with Seymour, twirling and laughing, spinning so fast, and then I was dancing with Auron (interesting,) and then Kimahri, and then Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri, Rikku… and then Tidus… and then it slowed down. We danced but his face was hard as stone the whole time. I didn't like it, I wanted it to change, to be happy, or sad, or anything but… disappointed. I wanted to run from it, so I didn't have to see it and feel bad… so I spun, I spun spun spun away onto a balcony, and looked at the moon and stars. Seymour's arms came around me like a straightjacket…


	5. Chapter 5

Hi. =) It's a Yuna x Seymour. AU. Rated T. I don't own FFX or any part. Spoilers!

You know, I'm playing through this game again (twice, at the same time, actually...) and I just got to the part where Wakka explains his life and that he's 23. And I'm like, whoa, I'm 23. When I first started playing this game, I thought Wakka and Lulu were old. Not old old, old compared to the rest of the team and all... And I remember playing other FFs where their average age is like 17-18 and thinking man I can't wait to be that age... let's all take a moment of silence for what a silly idea that was.

Also, this has always bothered me, anyone else bothered by Rikku's Al Bhed outfit? I had to be told that it was a full body suit, but even after all these years and trying to be ok with it, I'm not. I'm just not.

Alright done rambling. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think. =)

* * *

I woke up. There was a Guado standing guard in the room. I sat up, and asked him how long I had slept. A few hours, only. I asked him to leave.

I told Seymour that I was going to see my friends. I was, but I'm also waking up slowly.

And thinking.

I need to think. I need to take a minute, at least one minute, to think about everything.

I've never fought with someone like that before. It's so unlike me. I've always tried to help, to make everyone as happy as I can in spite of Sin… so I never fight, always listen and understand and offer kind words… What is it about Seymour that made me feel so comfortable to yell at him? Be downright mean to him?

Especially considering he's a Maester. A _Maester._ Have I casually forgotten that? My manners, my respect?

But perhaps it is that he is a Maester, and a Summoner… We have chosen similar paths. We have both chosen to give our lives in service to Spira.

Maybe that's what makes me comfortable with him. I know that he's _with_ me… he has the same goals, he's willing to make the same sacrifices… we're on the same team. Not that anyone in Spira is against me, but not so many are… I don't want to say it. (committed. Determined.)

I know this, this is why I'm so comfortable with my guardians, because they're willing to give their lives. We have this in common. We're on the same team. The death team. The any length team.

But they don't _have_ to die. They _might_. Not that Seymour is in line to die… but he's in the most respected position in the world. And he's in it to… I can't say to benefit the world, because I'm still not sure of his intentions. I'm still not sure if I believe him. I suppose I should be thinking about our 'honeymoon,' where he shows me how exactly this is all a set up. Well, not until my guardians are safe. That is first priority.

But… this is the first time I've been alone… and I want to enjoy a few more minutes…

What are my feelings towards him? It's so complicated. Of course I felt an initial… intensity. Respect. And he expressed his feelings for me, way back. Way back at Mi'ihen. I knew then, that there was something there. I knew from the first moment I saw him. I couldn't put a name to it then, and truthfully I still can't. I'm so used to connections being shaky at best; it's a habit not to put too much stock into them. A stone, a stone that feels like butterflies, but… heavy butterflies… I don't know.

He loves me. He warned me of impending conflict, he ran with me to avoid fighting, he married me in a tiny little room, he imprisoned my family to spend more time with me… He endured my yelling, with kindness. He yelled, too, but it was all about how much he cares for me.

Everything is… it's all got a dark side. Nothing that he's done for me is simply sweet, it's all sweet 'in spite of' something.

I suppose… imprisoning them, was his first instinct, maybe? He's a Maester. He's accustomed to 'Bevelle politics,' maybe he's… I don't know… not used to… other things. Maybe he needs someone to remind him to be, well, human.

I stood up now, flattening my blue skirt. It was already flat. I looked in the body mirror and straightened my hair. No worse for the wear. I exited, and found the Guado guard not far away.

"Hello. Thank you for giving me some time to get ready. What is your name?"

"Jory." He answered flatly.

"Nice to meet you, Jory." He nodded. I tried to remember his features; green hair, narrow eyes… so that I might recognize him, and be polite… "Do you know where my guardians have been moved?" He waved a long, long arm and turned to walk. I followed.

We walked through the city, still bright and cheery, but the sun was getting ready to set. We walked up the orange bridges, toward the main roadways where the halls were located. City hall, the Treasury, the Bevelle Church, the High Courts… I was surprised with how much I remembered. We took a sidestreet down a little ways, where other official buildings were located, the Records Hall, the Warrior Monks recruitment. Another side street and another main street took us to the place where my Guardians are. It was… a "highly civilized holding unit." It was like a hotel. I was pleased.

It was like a hotel but the doorways were barred. The doors could close for privacy, as well. Lulu and Rikku stayed in one, Auron and Kimahri in another, and Tidus and Wakka in another. They had nice beds, television, phones (which were under restrictions,) and dressers. The dressers were highly monitored, no point in putting any contraband in.

How many hours left? Maybe a little over one day.

I visited Auron and Kimahri first. I felt I needed to, be lectured or something.

They stood there. They waited for me to speak.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. It's not right."

"You can say that again." Auron said dryly.

"Well, you were talking of stealing me away to Zanarkand." I challenged.

"That surprises you? You saw the sphere. He's not right, we were concerned for your safety, we still are."

"Until I _get_ to Zanarkand, I know. You yourself said it was okay to marry him as long as I continued to journey."

"That was before we knew he was a murderer."

"What if he isn't? Auron, you were a warrior Monk, being preened for high clergy. You know better than all of us how these things can be."

A few moments went by, not many. He sat on the bed and propped his forehead on his hand.

"Yes, I do." More moments went by… Then he looked me in the eyes.

"If you were interested in Bevelle problems, I could've told you about them. If you were interested in politics you could've become a Priestess. But you became a Summoner. You wanted to bring a murderer to justice, okay. You were on a pilgrimage to bring the murderer of all murderers to justice, but fine, whatever, let's stop to right this one little one. Okay. Now you've been drawn into something way bigger, wanting to right so many more wrongs. You have the support of Bevelle, why do you need more?"

He was right. He was bluntly, dryly, right.

"I want… my father to be remembered… for more than just killing Sin. I want him to be remembered for being a good man, who raised a good daughter… He must have been a good man, if his daughter sought out to do… as much good as she could…" I looked at the floor… I didn't know the truth until it was coming out of my mouth.

Auron stood up. I held my gaze on the floor, but I could sense him rising and walking toward me. He put his gloved hands on my shoulders.

"Your father was a good man. He was far better than many men could ever hope to be. You and I both know this. Nothing can take that away from us, never." I looked in his eye then. I could see a bit of a smile in his cheeks, and I smiled too. My eyes began to well again, and he hugged me.

I didn't have much cry in me left, but a few gentle sobs escaped me in his arms. I was happy to share this with him, happy to have companions that could understand on such a deep level. We sat on the bed and talked about my father for a few hours, exchanging memories, telling stories, new and old. I was happy.

Eventually, I told him…

"I do care about Seymour. It's hard to admit, and I can't say why, but it's worth saying."

"Yes, it is, Yuna."

"He cares about me, too. That's the whole reason he did this… He was afraid you would rush me to Zanarkand before he got a chance to even spend a moment with me. And, if you think about it, him being a Maester, it makes sense for imprisonment to be his first response."

"Yuna… we could talk politics all night, if you wanted. All of his actions could have ulterior motives." I looked in his eye for a moment. I saw the lines of his face, and knew he was telling the truth, knew he was well educated of this. "But… if you do like him… You ought to enjoy some time before Zanarkand. It won't hurt to learn a bit about the world at the same time."

\- It fits into the plan for her to learn about the world. The point of going to Zanarkand is for her to learn the ugly(er) truth and reject it. Learning some things here in Bevelle would probably only help.-

I smiled, a weak smile then. I had his support. Wasn't that such an accomplishment? But it didn't feel as great as you'd expect it to. It never does.

I visited Lulu and Rikku next. It was a nice refresher, to talk about girl stuff. Clothes and shoes and boys and kissing and etc… Of course we kept it light and exciting at first, to take the edge off. I am more grateful for that than they will ever know.

"So, what's it like, being married? Does it feel different?" Rikku asked. She's younger than me, by a little. But I'm still kind of young to be married.

"It does feel… a little different. But it doesn't matter, you know… it won't… last…" I said, thinking about the end of the pilgrimage.

"It could last." She added, hopefully, but almost obligatorily.

"Do you like it?" Lulu asked, in her dark, but interested voice. They didn't move, but I felt their eyes hone in.

"I… I do like him…" It feels like I'm saying that a lot lately. "I don't know what it is, but I do have an attraction to him. So as far as marriage goes, that's a good thing."

"It is a good thing." Lulu smiled, a real smile. She didn't expect me to ever enjoy liking someone.

"What about Tidus? Don't you like him more?"

"Yes, I do." There wasn't much to say. We all knew already what that meant. Nobody knew Tidus, not like they know Maester Seymour. Marrying him brings a hundred times more joy to Spira than marrying Tidus. And technically, since I took an oath as a Summoner, I can do what I want. I can marry Seymour but be with Tidus, if I really want to. I mean, just because I'm a Summoner doesn't mean I'm going to be… like that. But I could. No one would judge me.

But I may judge me.

But I'm going to die, you know? Die for everyone, so everyone can be happy. So everyone gives me a break, because everyday is my last day, and what would you do if today was your last day?

I don't know, maybe I will get more comfortable with the idea as we go on. We are rather close to Zanarkand. Which reminds me, I need to pray at the temple still. Maybe after we leave Bevelle, and Seymour isn't such a huge part of my life, in my face, I can think about Tidus more…

If he even still wants me to…

I think I should go see him now…

So I go, to their room.

They both seem unhappy. Disappointed still.

"I'm sorry." I mean it, of course, but after the day I've had… it feels so obligatory.

"You don't have to apologize…" Wakka says, but shaking his head.

"We just don't understand." Tidus adds. I can see him start to get angrier, not calmer. "We've been tugged around like puppets, for something that doesn't make any sense." I don't know how to explain in that moment, so I stay quiet. I stay quiet, so he continues to fill the silence. "We learn that the guy's a murderer, which you knew a loooooot sooner than us, and then you go and marry him. To what, protect him? So we don't fight him? I get that you value life and want to save everybody's, but I don't get how that makes any sense. I don't. At all."

Wakka shook his head some more.

Is it any coincidence, that by the time I talk to Tidus, I'm all out of fight for the day?

"Yes… I did it to avoid a fight."

"Why? That's huge life-altering decision! Don't you care? Don't you care about decisions that affect your entire life?"

We all got silent then.

"Don't you?"

I wished the others were in here too.

"Don't you care about your life?"

I finally lifted my head to look at him. Blond hair, blue eyes, devilishly handsome… I wanted to kiss him, to give in to my humanistic side and just get lost in kissing him, but I think that was just a reason to escape the moment.

"Tidus… when we get to Zanarkand…" Wakka began… but he hesitated. I thought for a moment how everyone used "Zanarkand" as a synonym for Yuna's death. He's rubbing the back of his head.

"To bring the Calm… to defeat Sin… Yuna will…" He turned to face him and look him in the eyes. I respected him for this, I don't know if I could do it. "Yuna will have to give her life."

Tidus broke down. Not all at once, in pieces. First he stepped back, like the wind had got him. Then he crouched, then he sat on the floor and stared determinedly down.

"Yuna…" he said… only that… I felt like, the three of us, would never move, in that room. I felt like, it was up to me to move, or no one would ever move again. I also felt like I shouldn't have to.

"Tidus…" I said.

"Everyone knows, don't they? Of course they do…" he all but spit the words. "That's why… that's why no one cared, it didn't matter, nothing matters, cause you're gonna die anyway!" He looked at me with the last sentence. "Why didn't you tell me?!" He turned to Wakka.

"We didn't know how-"

He was on his feet, fists balled on Wakka's chest, all in a moment.

"That's not good enough! There's this huge deadly thing called Sin, and there's the Church, and there's all these things I needed to know immediately after being in Spira, but this you kept from me?!"

My heart sank, and soared, at the same time.

I knew, there in that room, seeing his emotion, that I loved him.

He backed away from Wakka and paced a little big.

I went up and put my arms around his arms.

"I'm sorry. We didn't want to hurt you. We care about you.

"I care about you."

I looked in his eyes a moment.

And I leaned up to kiss him…

"You're married." He said, flatly, and turned away from my grasp all at once.

I stood there, feeling tiny, feeling weak, feeling naked.

He faced me again, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted nothing more than to walk out of the room, get some air. That makes sense, but it hurts. I wanted my big brother, because he was already there, but was torn between his comfort and Tidus' discomfort. I wished he could walk out of the room…. But he can't.

I looked at Wakka, sending my desire to talk with my brother through my eyes, before walking away. It's for the best, Tidus needs Wakka now much more than I do.

I went back to Auron and Kimahri's room.

I sat on the bed and Kimahri put his arm around me. A part of me wanted to cry… but a bigger part didn't. They knew he knew, without having to say it. We stayed there like that, Kimahri's arm around me, Auron sitting in a chair a little ways away, we stayed like that for hours. I went over everything in my head a dozen times, knowing that there was no way to change anything.

Eventually I fell asleep there, with the both of them close by. I was happy to have my longest standing guardian there, and the only living man who knows my father best. Maybe it was better than having my brother there. And Tidus really did need him more than me…

I had nightmare after nightmare of Tidus turning away from me…


	6. Chapter 6

Spoilers! =) That's the part I've been forgetting. I'll go back and add that sometime soon.

Rated T. Yuna x Seymour. I don't own FFX or any part... there was something else I think... , that was it. Short chapter, but that's because the next one reveals the cover up!

* * *

When we (only me, really) woke up, there were two Guado guards in the room. I didn't recognize Jory.

"Lady Summoner, Maester Seymour requests your presence in the Event Hall." He wasted no time, as I had just woken up.

"O-ok, let me just get ready…" They didn't say anything, not the Guado or Auron or Kimahri. There wasn't really much to get ready… perhaps I could use a shower…

Yeah, I would like a shower.

Twenty minutes later, I was out the door, following two Guado guards through the Bevelle streets. The Event Hall wasn't far, it was part of the main street where most of the Halls were. Seymour was waiting there.

"Ah, my beautiful wife. A pleasure," he bowed. "If you are free, I'd like to take you to breakfast."

I'm still waking up.

Not that that should phase me… I've woken up faster, look at Djose.

"Sure," I said, rather informally. But I am so hungry.

He led the way out of the Event Hall (apparently just a meeting spot for us this morning) down through more streets and side streets to a simple little café. They had booths and tables and a bar, in a small diner, light blue themed with black and white checkered flooring. I was happy to be in a diner, where ordering was simple and fast. Hunger was creeping up on me- no, stalking me, quickly.

We sat in a booth with a window. Everyone stared at us off and on, trying to be polite.

"Two pancakes, two strips of bacon, and one poached egg. A cup of hot tea with honey, please." I ordered before the waitress could even get a word out. Seymour ordered a couple of sunny side up eggs with toast and orange juice.

After ordering was done and my tea and his toast was delivered, I remembered my manners. I almost got up to bow to him… but didn't.

"I am deeply sorry for my conduct, Maester, sir. I will straighten up and follow proper manners from here on out." I said, nodding to the waitress as well.

Part of being a Summoner is following proper procedures, manners, etc. Truthfully we can do whatever we want, as we are making the ultimate sacrifice (look at Dona,) but it inspires Spira the more we hold ourselves to higher standards. And if a Summoner isn't pure, how can we expect to atone for our sins?

He chuckled a little. "Please, Lady Yuna, address me as you feel comfortable."

… I chuckled a little too. "Okay, Then you do the same." I smiled for real for a second then. I also eyed his toast a little.

"Okay, Yuna… Would you like some toast?"

"Oh sir, whatever would make you think I might envy your possessions?" I lifted my voice a little in good humor…

"You're eying it down more than a thief at market."

We laughed then, and he broke his toast and gave me half.

"Thank you for your kind generosity, Maester Seymour sir."

"You're very welcome, Lady Summoner Yuna of Besaid."

We laughed then, exchanged ridiculously formal titles, and laughed more, until our food came out, and we scarfed it down.

Maybe I will forgive myself a bit for being less formal with him.

So, okay, he kind of tricked me into breakfast. When I first woke up, and I heard the words Maester and requesting your presence, habit kicked in and I felt like I had to go to the principal's office or something. But now I'm fed and awake and laughing with him at a diner and I realize that's not the case.

"I really want to get back to my guardians now. Thank-you for breakfast." His eyes looked sad.

"They'll be there all day until tomorrow morning, I thought we could see Bevelle a little bit? Go to the temple? Talk with Mika?" He looked in my eyes, waiting for answers. Going to the temple without my guardians seems wrong… but I suppose I should speak with Mika, there's no sense waiting for that. It may even help give me the answers I need to tell them.

"Well… how soon can we talk with Maester Mika?" I asked.

"I set a time aside at ten, in case you wanted to. Let's make our way."

We walked on the bright orange bridges once again, following some very wide highways. We seemed to be heading towards the northern center of the city, that makes sense. People were beginning to multiply, making their ways to work or market. So many waved and tried to stop us.

Seymour took my hand.

I almost gave him a look, but he beat me to it. Without having to explain, it gave us the look of being on our way somewhere, being in a rush. Little else was needed to obtain the respect of the people to let us be.

A few more beautiful walkways and stairs lead us to the church. We entered into the main worship room. The smaller churches (small, I realize now) usually have only a few rooms, for healing or private praying and study… This church was… breathtaking. It's like a banquet, statues of all the successful Summoners, gigantic statues of the High Summoners, a doorway every so many spaces, and so many people.

We walked straight forward, along an elegant rug I might add, with nearly every single patron praying as we passed.

"The multiple rooms serve the same functions as the ones you're used to, for private study and discussion and healing. The larger doorways up here go to more important rooms. That one there goes to the choir room." He pointed to a door on the left, close to the staircase up front. "That over there is the meditation room, it's dark and absolutely silent. That is the appellate court," he said indicating the next door on the left, closest to the staircase. "We have the High Court in another building close to here, they handle matters that don't need to be taken there. And there," the door on the right closest to the staircase, "Is the largest classroom in Bevelle. All of the priests' and clergy testing is done in there. That is also where the mandatory lectures for all church officials is held."

We approached the stairs and began to ascend.

"Unlike other temples, this doesn't lead to the Cloister of Trials. That is beneath the church, similar to how Macalania is, except the entrance is also below. It helps with traffic. Not every Summoner who passes through here needs to see Mika, or half the people in here. Bevelle can be difficult enough to navigate on its own; some of them are in a hurry."

"Up here is Mika's office." It was guarded with priests with machina guns.

I suppose that's necessary.

They uncrossed their weapons for us.

The two of us entered, but then Seymour released my hand (I forgot he was holding it) and bowed to me and left.

"Welcome, Summoner."


	7. Chapter 7

Hi. Spoilers. AU. Yuna x Seymour. I don't own FFX. Rated T or less.

May slow down more. I like to keep quite a bit of story ahead of what's posted here and it's catching up.

The big reveal!

* * *

"Your Grace… thank you, for meeting with me." I bowed and prayed hastily.

"It is a favor to our honorable Maester Seymour."

"That is why I wanted to come. When we went to the Farplane, Lord Jyscal was coming out of it! And he gave me a sphere, confessing that Maester Seymour had murdered him…

"Seymour said it was a set up… and then he imprisoned my guardians and now I… I have so many questions. I came here to ask one thing, but,

"Everything is so complicated now, Maester… When I started this, it was simple, pilgrimage to Zanarkand to defeat Sin. It wouldn't be easy but it was simple. I want to do what's right, but that gets blurrier and blurrier."

"Summoner, you are at a delicate age… Everything is complicated at this point." He was saying I'm young? That I'm hormonal?!

"Maester Mika, everything is complicated because we share this world with Sin!"

"The world was complicated before Sin, and it will be after. Don't forget how it was created. Sin is something we can put the blame on. Without it, what of our wrongdoings? What of others'? Our feelings would be torn in different directions… Partly guilt… partly resentment… partly coincidence… and we would have to attribute the correct amount of feelings to each. But with Sin? All blame is put on it. With one word, all else is gone. All guilt, all resentment, all unfairness, is gone. That is simplicity. To rid the world of Sin, people would start to abuse these feelings again… That is why a Summoner must train physically _and_ mentally, must sharpen the body and spirit. You must be prepared to live without Sin, you must be an example of how to wade the complication that arises without a great monster on which to lay all blame. No one can tell you what is right, you must write your own story. I have been alive many, many years, and I still see blurry situations. Summoner, you should be proud of yourself. You have truly held the teachings, and tried to do right, and follow your heart through many a trial. You may feel your load getting heavier and heavier, and you don't know how to lighten it, but I tell you that when you use that strength in your heart to choose Spira and her people, you have won more battles than you know."

I'm taken aback. I don't know how to respond… I look at the floor…

He's right… he's right about so much of it… I see why he has been Maester for so many years… his experience is invaluable…

It still doesn't answer, well, many questions.

"Lady Yuna… I will explain to you Lord Jyscal's death."

The explanation did take quite a bit of history, and knowledge of Spira's affairs.

Seymour was born to a Guado and a human. That had never been done before, not without exile and shame and ultimately death, whether directly or as a result. Jyscal spent his life trying to get the world to accept his family. The world we see now, where we are united, it wasn't always that way.

When Seymour was young, they were plagued with shame and nearly exile. Well,

The Guado weren't necessarily organized to begin with. They are masters of the forest, and have their tree villages. That was really all they had in common. They all lived in the trees, maintaining their own little communities alone. Before the marriage, it's not that Jyscal was a leader, but he was respected.

He was building a leadership in the most organic way, the way leaders are naturally born.

He would visit the separate villages, and sort of… "sell" the other villages' ideas to them, for exchange of their ideas… The best ways to raise certain crops, the strongest binds in the branches, the most potent mixes of herbs, etc… Of course he wanted to make a profit, but more than that he wanted better welfare for the Guado. He saw no reason to be separated, struggling alone.

He was a family man, through and through.

So then, enter the family. So, because of his reputation, they weren't totally exiled. Jyscal was still permitted to freely travel, continue to do what he was doing, so long as Marya and Seymour were not with him.

They struggled, of course. No one liked it, of course. They made it by as best they could. Jyscal tried to throw his weight around for their benefit, it never worked.

Of all the trades that he shared, of all the benefits, one thing that every Guado, every Spiran shared, was Sin.

Jyscal never said it outright… but Marya eventually figured out that that was their golden ticket, no one would deny them… if they defeated Sin. He argued, but she persisted, and he knew she was right.

Seymour was eight.

Marya took him to Zanarkand.

They didn't know what the price would be.

But the more they traveled, the more determined she became, the more driven… she saw only one thing…

Seymour…

Seymour lost his mother.

And he gained Anima.

But he didn't defeat Sin.

He traveled back to his father, defeating everything in his path, pounding it to a pulp, really.

Everything changed, then. Seymour lost his mother. He went back to his father. The Guado still didn't accept him, but now they had a leverage point. Anima. Jyscal's convincing became a little more persuasive. Of course, he was a kind man, he didn't threaten. He mostly offered protection.

Seymour showed a talent for education. His father enabled him to study, to learn as much as he could.

They still weren't accepted, they were tolerated.

The Church offered them a deal. If they let Seymour train to be a priest, to hone his skill with Anima, to be an asset to the Church, they would ensure that the Guado accept them with open arms. Which began a many year long plan.

Jyscal sent Seymour to train under the clergy in Bevelle. The Guado accepted him and dealt with him as long as Seymour wasn't present. They slowly introduced the idea of the Church, of Yevon. Jyscal accepted open-mindedness in place of profit for his trades.

Slowly but surely, it worked. Jyscal was awarded Maester, the Guado were represented in the world.

The world finally accepted Seymour. Finally, they didn't spit at him, curse him, push him around…

Seymour trained diligently in Bevelle. He became a High Priest.

And then he learned, what I also learned, today…

Mika is unsent.


	8. Chapter 8

AU. Yuna x Seymour. Spoilers. Rated T. Um what else... I don't own FFX.

Let me know what you think =)

* * *

When he learned this, he was shocked, horrified, and determined to act. Being a Yevonite, on top of being a Guado, he was compelled to send him, to make it right, to send the dead to the Farplane where he knows they belong.

That's when things got strained.

Mika couldn't have the world knowing this, or they might react in turn.

He threatened Seymour, said he would take away his Priesthood, said he would put him right back in exile where he was before.

But he didn't care about that. He pressed forward, continued to threaten Mika with a sending.

Then… Mika… had his father… killed…

He forced him to record the sphere, and used it as leverage against Seymour, threatening to show the world.

Seymour straightened up.

Mika promised that with good behavior from then on out, he would be appointed Maester.

And so it was.

I, I threatened him too, then. I lifted my rod, but I wasn't able to send him. I don't know if it was personal hesitation or that he was too strong.

He said that his leadership brought Spira out of so many troubles, inspired so many Summoners, saved so many lives…

It really wasn't about him.

He said it wasn't even his idea. He was willing to be sent, if it was for the better. It was his advisors, his clergy, who advised him, begged him, to make these decisions.

And he wasn't really… the one who, y'know… killed him.

"Seymour would be dead, without me, to save him from the Guado. The Guado would be without Yevon. I could tell you countless other stories about lives and races I have saved. Jyscal saved many lives by dying, just as each High Summoner does."

That gave me pause…

I bowed, and asked if we would be able to set up another meeting, if I desired it. He said for Seymour, he would. I left. I descended the staircase, staring straight ahead.

"Would that Meditation Room, be open to me?" I asked Seymour, diligently waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He nodded.

"To the promising Summoner and wife of Maester Seymour, of course." He took my hand and lead me towards it. Part of me wanted to jerk away, but part of me was still reeling from his troubled childhood, and I didn't.

It was very dimly lit. There were candles, with very small flames, everywhere. I couldn't actually see much else besides the maroon spheres of light from the candles, and a few monks' concentrated faces. Although, I wonder if any face would look concentrated in such candlelight?

I sat, and stared. I closed my eyes sometimes, for what felt like hours, but probably a few minutes. And I let my eyes wander as well. I wasn't sure what to do, what to think. It was so much. I knew I needed to let it sink in.

There are things in life that need to 'sink in.' But what does that exactly mean? I mean, in Spira, you don't usually have the time. You must run from Sin, or pray for those Sin has killed, or train to become a Summoner, or for Yevon's sakes, fight with your sister. Here, I have the freedom _to_ think it out, or let it sink in, however you _do_ that without having it just eventually happen throughout the days.

Killing Jyscal saved lives? That is essentially the… well the issue. It is an issue. First off, it assumes that Mika _saves_ lives. 100%. Like, there's no question that he might _not_ save lives or that he might, in fact, take lives, look at Jyscal. I suppose… if he _hadn't_ made a deal with the Guado, then true, they wouldn't have Yevon. Wouldn't they eventually be brought the teachings? Haven't we tried before? We have, as I was educated… They never cared for it, like the Al Bhed, until we had some leverage, which was Seymour and Anima. Well, couldn't anyone have made that deal? I don't know…

Well, suppose that it is fact that Mika saves lives. It's just what he does, it's a fact. Suppose. Was _killing_ Lord Jyscal necessary? I don't know, he says it was. I mean, Seymour was determined to send Mika or expose him so badly that someone sent him. So then, yes, assuming Mika saves lives, then yes, Seymour was threatening to take that away. Was it necessary to kill his father?

The only thing he had left?

That's precisely why, he said. Because Jyscal was all Seymour had left, of family, of love…

That he loved him more than Yevon, more than the teachings, that he would do anything…

Mika said, that tie had to be severed. It might start with Mika, but it wouldn't stop there. Anything that stands between you and Yevon will surely bring destruction. Every Yevonite learns that. Seymour would've done anything to protect his father, discredit Yevon, kill Summoners, etc… it had to be stopped… he said… he was too powerful, to have that kind of handicap…

It makes sense. That's all I can say. It is what it is. I don't like it. I don't like any of it. It doesn't make 100% sense, I don't mean that. But it's also done, and there's nothing I can do to change it anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

AU. Yuna x Seymour. Rated T. Well probably G honestly. Maybe later. Spoilers. I don't own FFX or any part.

I always forget at least one of those, don't I?

Anyone watch 13 Reasons Why? Man it's depressing. I'm only watching to get it over with. Logical, right?

I try to end these at a good place. I don't know if I like where this chapter or the last one ended. I might change it.

There, I added a little more. If you can't tell. By my amazing editing. (it's the story that counts, right?) Wait so you can't see it. How come this doesn't copy and paste the indents? It's not a big deal. I'm thrilled that it copies the italics and such. Just odd. I _know_ how to indent paragraphs, guys =p

* * *

I stayed there for hour (I was told, it didn't just feel that way) going over it in my head. Telling myself the story again and again, seeing it from Mika's perspective, Jyscal's, Seymour's, Marya's, Wakka's (you know… for the hell of it…)

But always coming back to the same thing: Jyscal is dead, there is no changing that. No matter how or why or if it was worth it.

So do I believe Seymour didn't do it?

Of course. Mika told me so, told me why, told me Seymour's sordid past. Why would Seymour kills his father? The whole sphere seemed silly now.

Then, I did want Auron's advice, his knowledge.

After all that meditating, thinking, just to seek the perspective of someone else anyway, ask someone else to tell me what to think, what to do…

I told Seymour that I wanted to go back to the hotel, to see my guardians. He didn't argue. He led me there, mostly in silence.

Well, he wanted to tell me about the city.

We spent most of our time at the top, well, I did. The higher bridges, the ones which touch the sky, they are where the important structures are; the Church, the Court, the Treasury, etc. Basically, the lower you go, the less important. And eventually, you get to the slums, the ghetto, underneath all the bridges and walkways, you get to a ground level, run down portion of the city, where the evil and unspeakable things happen. He wanted to tell me more, but I was only partially listening anyway, and didn't want to absorb any more, not on this day…

I went to Auron and Kimahri's room. We exchanged pleasantries, how are you, oh fine, how is imprisonment… etc…

Eventually, I recounted the whole tale to Auron, and waited to hear his opinion. He let it all sink in, and thought about it thoroughly.

"Well, are you satisfied?" He said, with a certain amount of spit.

That's not what I wanted.

"No, of course not."

"That is politics. You think it is one thing, one alliance, one simple conviction, but several run together. I can't say what is true, I can see how both could be. The truth usually lay somewhere in the middle. However, once again, are you a Summoner or a Priestess?"

He's right, just like before.

Do I believe Mika? He's been a Maester for years, respected by everyone, of course I (want to) believe him.

But it doesn't matter, the truth, because no matter what the truth is, it's too complicated. I am a Summoner, not a politician. It's not my job to know or handle these things, I chose to fight Sin. If it was a simple matter of bringing one killer to justice, well then yes, there's time for that.

So, after they were released tomorrow morning, we would continue our pilgrimage. No more distractions.

I just have to tell Seymour…

I _want_ to see Tidus… but I don't know if he'll want to see me, after our last conversation. I suppose I should visit with everyone; I don't have to tell Seymour right this minute.

So I spent the afternoon visiting with Auron and Kimahri more, discussing training and Bevelle and my father and our group, and then went to Rikku and Lulu's room, and stayed there into the evening.

I told them I had a busy day. I didn't want to tell the story again. I told them the truth; that it's likely true that Seymour was set up, but that I didn't know all the details and it's too complicated and I know what my priority is. They let it be at that, thankfully, and we talked about much lighter things. We even played a board game that Rikku… acquired.

Of course… I knew what I was doing. I was avoiding him, at the same time wanting to see him, fooling myself into thinking that he wants to see me too, it's just not time yet.

Eventually the time came. I can't just ignore them, can't visit with everyone all day and not them. So I made my way…

Wakka greeted me brightly. He waved to me, not angry, maybe nervous.

"Hey, how you been? How's your day?"

"I'm good, Wakka. It's been a long day." I peered over his large shoulder a little.

"He's alright… still pretty down. He jes… he feels bad, ya? All the things he said…" he said quietly to me.

I had imagined the conversation, many times, since the day we met and I knew that he truly knew nothing about Spira. How do you tell someone that, that you're going to die? How do you tell that to someone you… love? I suppose it's easier than telling them that they're the one who is going to die. I can… escape, at the end. He has to live with it all. Then again, I don't know if he feels the same for me. I don't know if he feels anything for me.

He didn't say no. He didn't say, uh, Yuna, I don't care about you _like that._ He said, You're married. He said it like I had told his secrets, or like I had stolen from him, and there was nothing he could do about it. He said it passive aggressively. But doesn't that mean… that he does care?

I don't feel so comfortable here. It's awkward.

"How are you guys doing?"

"It's pretty boring, that's all. Not much longer, ya." Tidus sort of grunted. "Hey, you be a man and talk to the lady. You've had enough time to sulk." He hung his head for a moment, shook it once, and then straightened up to look at me.

"We're okay, Yuna." He looked me in the eyes. His voice was soft, somber. "Hey, it's a break from training, right?" A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Right." I laughed, trying to be as gentle and content as I could.

We carried on, awkwardly, but there were comfortable moments as well. I avoided the topic of Seymour mostly, except for direct questions.

Speak of the devil…

There he was.

"Lady Yuna." It felt like I'd been petrified by a fiend, or caught doing something wrong by the teacher, but I don't know why. "Come. You may not stay here overnight." He was kind, but stern.

I stood up, and looked at them both.

"I'm sorry again, for this. Thank you for supporting me. I miss you."

Wakka nodded, and Tidus sort of scratched the back of his head.

"We miss you too." Tidus said… it hurt… but in a kind of good way.

I followed Seymour out after that.

"Where are we going?"

"To my place. Well, the place that I stay when I am in Bevelle."

I stopped us and looked in his face.

"You can stay in another room if it makes you feel more comfortable. The place doesn't lack space." He sounded a little tired. We continued walking.

I don't feel like I have any fight left in me. I feel… depressed? The day has been long enough on its own, and seeing all of my family lifted my spirits a little… but seeing Tidus…

It's like… it's like all I do, all the work I put into helping and being good and being smart, it's like it means nothing if he doesn't care. When did that happen? It's never been like that before.

Of course, no one has ever hung their head over my choice to journey before. No matter how sad it made someone, there was always appreciation, admiration, respect. Always, at least a little.

Now I feel like… I'm so tired… I don't want to waste my energy doing anything, if he's not going to see it, not going to pay attention or care. When did that happen?

We arrived at a beautiful manor, light blue accents on beautiful golden brick, styled like the rest of Bevelle. Entering the large double doors, we were in a huge common room, with offshoots for other rooms.

"The guest bedroom is there," he indicated one of the doors on the left, "And the master bedroom is up those stairs and straight forward, if you should need anything. I'll have someone come by your room to see if you need anything to eat." He looked forward as he spoke, until the end, he turned to look at me to see my reaction.

"Alright." I didn't know what to do. I'm not hungry, but even if I get hungry, he's going to send someone later.

Send someone… heh… no pun intended.

It's odd that he was ready to just part, give directions and then just part. He usually tries to squeeze more time out of me.

I remembered then that I needed to tell him my decision… but… it didn't feel right at that moment.

"Alright… I'll see you in the morning."

He took my hand, just below the knuckles, and kissed lightly.

"Goodnight, my beautiful wife."

And he was up the stairs and gone.

Wife…

Of course I know I am. Of course I know it's just a title, a deal, a bargain even. It's still interesting to be called that, to hear it. It's bittersweet. It's nice to hear, but not nice to think about why.

I went to my room- the guest room, I mean- and sat on the bed. There wasn't much to do. It wasn't long before the Guado came in to check on me. It wasn't Jory.

"Anything I can get you, M'Lady?"

"Maybe… a light dinner." I ordered potato soup, and it arrived quickly, to the room. I ate slowly, pondering.

I still need to go to the temple, and tell Seymour that we're leaving after that.

Oh, wait.

Should we go to the temple… before… they are let out? To save time? Should I wait until they are let out? Oh, it can wait… I'm so tired…

I awoke to Guado rustling around the room. I don't know why. It's spotless. I had the urge to "shoo" them, and almost gave in. That would be rude. Being that I didn't bring anything more than myself in, I simply left the room, entering the main 'lobby.' Seymour was already there.

"Good morning, Lady Yuna." His permanently affixed smile was right in place. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." I was still waking up. Do I ask, did you? I'm not sure.

I remember the stone, then, the feelings I have for hi that feel like a stone in my gut. Intense, unavoidable, just, there, but not entirely pleasant.

His history… his mother died, trying to secure a place for him in this world… his father made countless deals, trades, decisions, to meet the same end… his father died for him, too, in a sense. He knows this.

"Would you… mind talking, for a little while?" He nodded, and lead us to a tea room off the 'lobby.' He instructed that we not be disturbed, unless he asked for someone.

"What's on your mind, Yuna?" Was that…. The first time he's ever said my name? Without a Miss or Mlady or my wife in front of it?

"Mika told me… everything."

"So then… you know."

"Your mother… and father… they both…" I didn't realize how rude it was to bring it up like that until it was out of my mouth. I should've made more time to wake up fully. I'll order some food as soon as possible, hopefully that will fix this mouth…

"Yes, they both died, protecting me." He said matter-of-fact-ly, almost like it was someone else's life he was talking about.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"It's quite alright, Yuna. I knew what you would learn when I asked you to marry me."

I thought for a minute… I was still just waking up, feeling a little bit hazy, but maybe… not so hazy.

"Then, why did you ask me to marry you?" Yeah, why bring me into all this?

He looked me in the eyes for a moment, "I love you."

"You proposed back in Guadosalam, you loved me then? We had only met twice. That's sweet and all, but, it's… it's a lot to ask… a lot to gamble…"

He sighed, imperceptibly. "It's true, that's not the only reason. You know, I wanted to unite our races further, as my father worked to do. Not only that… but I saw great strength in you, in your eyes. I knew about my family's, all of Bevelle's, complications… but I saw in you a strong Summoner who could manage that, and benefit us all. I merely asked for your hand, prepared to be rejected, as I know you have important work to do. It was a gamble… but should I win… then the whole of Spira has gained a great advantage, not just me." He looked in my eyes again.

"But… to find out that your father was murdered… and then to tell me you didn't do it… how could I… I mean who could just, move along? Not go and find out? I-I don't think it was fair."

"I didn't intend for you to find out like that. Should you have accepted, I was planning to tell you the whole story much more slowly, much more nicely."

"Is there a nice way to tell that story?"

"Perhaps not." I still hadn't even thought about what he said, that I could benefit all of Spira…

"So what was I supposed to be? A link between our races, a Summoner, how could I benefit all of Spira?"

"My dear… the story of my family… is dark, macabre, but useful. At many parts we were backed into a corner and violence was the only option. In light of all of that, my father chose the lesser of two evils, and when he didn't, Mika did. It wasn't easy, but it taught me a lot about trials and life. I can't say that I don't regret my father's death, but it helped me to be a better leader, a better Maester." I waited patiently for how this was answering my questions. "When I first learned that Mika is unsent, I was angry, ready to make things right. He put a hard stop to that. After learning everything I have, I am grateful that he did so, and I am grateful that he is with us. These things are not easy, but they serve worthy cause. Summoners aren't the only ones who give their lives to save many other lives. My parents were both willing to give their lives for Spira, and they accomplished great things.

"Being a Summoner, you have already taken an oath to give your life.

You bring something to the table that no one else ever has, neither Summoner nor Priest. Or, you could. You could be both. You could bring the compassion, the determination, the faith of a Summoner, and the strength, the intelligence, the discretion of a Priestess. You could inspire others to follow Yevon, to follow a life saving path, to save lives… You could do this, because you have the capacity to, the right qualities. Dona, Isaaru, Belgamine, none of them possess the devotion you have."

I rolled it around in my head for a moment. "Haven't there been other Summoners in the clergy?"

"Yes, but they were clergy, first. They became Summoners to advance their position, a political move, not a compassionate one."

I thought about it some more.

"What about… you?"

He seemed to darken, like storm clouds were forming in his face.

"I didn't become a Summoner for the same reasons as you." was his simple reply.

"So, I should, what? How can I help, when I have to die?"

"Wait, stay a while. Tell your story. Inspire people the way you already do, but take your time doing so, instead of rushing off. That's all."

Right as many wrongs in a short amount of time… those were my own thoughts.

The conversations I've had on the road have helped and inspired people. Maybe there is something to this?

"Yuna, everyone here… has an agenda. More power, more money, more followers. Most of the time for noble intentions, but done the wrong way. They were born in it, they don't know any better, you see.

"But you and I… we weren't born into this, weren't born into riches or offices… Sure, our fathers were famous, and we also both lost them. But we both came from a small town, a remote place, simple lives, and we both grew with a simple desire: peace."

The things he said make sense. I hadn't thought about how much we had in common before that, either. We both lost each of our parents. We both lived far away from the big cities for most of our lives. I wasn't old enough to understand Bevelle when I lived here.

"We bring something else to the table, which makes us powerful."

"And we can use that power for good." I said, adding, but almost correcting…

It makes a lot of sense.

Bloopers:

"Yuna, everyone here… has an agenda. More power, more money, more followers. Most of the time for noble intentions, but done the wrong way. They were born in it, they don't know any better, you see.

"But you and I… we weren't born into this, weren't born into riches or offices… Sure, our fathers were famous, and we also both lost them. But we both came from a small town, a remote place, simple lives, and we both grew with a simple desire: to kill…" his eyes kind of glossed over and he trailed off.

"… Sin."

"What?"

"To kill Sin. That's what you were saying, right?"

"Ah, yes. Of course. We both want to kill Sin. That is what unites us."

"What we have in common."

"Yes. What we have in common."


	10. Chapter 10

OK, sorry it's been a while. Moved, just got wifi, etc. Also this is all I have written so it may be a while again (hopefully not.)

Spoilers, rated T, AU, I don't own FFX. Hope you like! =)

* * *

We ate breakfast soon after, both deep in thought, but breaking for small talk.

"Ah, it's almost time for your guardians to be released."

"From their unjust sentence." He didn't reply.

I almost forgot about that… I wonder if they'll be mad when they get out?

I was planning to tell Seymour that I must leave once they are free. Am I still? Auron asked me, am I a Summoner or a Priestess. It was the most obvious thing in the world, if I have to choose. What if I don't have to choose? What if I can be both? My father was a Priest before becoming a Summoner… Not that it's in my blood or anything. Does the world really need more inspiration, though? More motivation than Sin?

 _That is why a Summoner must train physically and mentally, must sharpen the body and spirit. You must be prepared to live without Sin, you must be an example of how to wade the complication that arises without a great monster on which to lay all blame…_

Isn't it a little… irresponsible, to rid the world of Sin, without being an example of how to live without it?

Maybe I can help… maybe my touch is what they need… maybe people like Marya and Jyscal wouldn't have to die to save lives in the future, maybe I can think of a better way…

Seymour took my hand, taking me by surprise, and kissed it gently. It took me by surprise, a little at first and then more and more… like the weight of everything was starting to catch up with me.

I yanked my hand back,

"What are you doing?"

He looked like a punished pup. A part of me wanted to feel guilty, but not a big enough part.

"We were headed to free your guardians, you seemed distracted, I just wanted… to comfort you… Is that not allowed? Do you dislike it?"

Do I dislike it? The kiss on the hand? Well, literally speaking, no. It's not the act… it's the situation. It's the timing, perhaps. But do I like… his kiss… on my skin?

"I…" I don't know what to say. "Let's just go."

"Very well." He bowed and began to lead, not taking my hand, not saying anything else.

I almost felt naked, walking through the huge crowd of people, adoring people, _touchy_ people, without his hand. I took it then, hastily. He smiled at me, unaffected by my outburst earlier.

Taking in the sunshine, the adoration, the busyness of Bevelle… nostalgia creep at the outer edges of my brain. I almost feel like I'm walking through the streets with my father again, jumping from one thing to another, grabbing his hand and dragging him, only to dash away at the next wondrous thing.

A pang of longing goes through me then… I have… one, two, three, four, almost five Aeons, out of six. The next stop is the Calm Lands, then Mount Gagazet, then Zanarkand. No more Aeons until Zanarkand. And it's a long, treacherous journey through those places. Perhaps…

"Our next itineraries… what are they like?"

"Well Zanarkand is a sight you'll have to see with your own eyes. It is spectacular, in its own way."

"What about… the fiends?"

"The Calm Lands befit their name. There are some dangerous fiends, but they can be avoided." Avoidance… isn't exactly our way. "Gagazet is a truly treacherous trial. Lady Yunalesca has ordained a Guardian of her own there, to scare away those who are not worthy." I waited, but that's all he would say on the matter.

Perhaps… we could _all_ benefit from a little time in Bevelle. We need to train, don't we? And who better to train with than the warrior monks, the most respected army in Spira?

You know what, I want to stay a while. What's the rush? We can leave whenever, so why not leave when I'm ready, instead of rushing away? I can make my own choices, and I _should_ make my own choices; I can't just go wherever everyone tells me.

I stopped for a moment in the roadway, and Seymour turned to me with concern.

"I will stay, for a little while. I will play as your wife, and try to inspire the people here as much as I can. First, we free my guardians, and _we_ will go to the Temple, without you."

He nodded, but an involuntary smile threatened to fill his whole face.

"I am beyond pleased of your continued presence." He took my hand again, and I hardened my face and walked straightly beside him. It's going to take a lot of confidence to break the news to everyone else…

They're disappointed… well mostly Auron is. He's asked me 'what did he tell you' a lot. And it's…. Nothing he said. Not Seymour. It's me, it's my heart, it's my reasoning. Why is that so surprising? If I were any… stronger in personality… I'd be offended. But I'm not. I know he's got the best intentions at heart.

But it's my story.

Everyone else seems OK, mostly. Tidus isn't, of course not. "Look at it as an opportunity to train with the best! To see the biggest city in Spira! Doesn't it remind you of Zanarkand at all?" Rikku asked enthusiastically. I think it made him angrier, which was cute, and I couldn't help but giggle… even though I know it's wrong…

Lulu and Wakka are happy to spend time in Bevelle. They're actually excited, even though they try to hide it. I mean, I'm excited, too, I just have so much more to worry about. But for us Yevonites… it's kind of like meeting a celebrity, well, several. And visiting the city they were born in. The city is a huge part of our history and religion. I don't think we ever _wanted_ to just pass it by, but it was always assumed we would have to.

Kimahri is stoic. I think the city reminds him of my father… we have that in common, which is good and bad. I think it makes him more sad than it does me. Rikku seems perpetually happy.

We descended the stairs to the lower part of the Temple, the doorway to the Cloister of Trials.

But when we enter…

"Huh?" Rikku muttered.

Wakka was the first one to speak on it,

"What's a machina doing in the Temple?"

"I suppose it comes in handy."

"That's not what I mean! The teachings! What about the teachings?"

"Hey, don't look at me." She answered.

It is surprising… We all step on the platform which whizzes us through the staircase. It's more stunning than magic, and I see magic everyday!

I find myself staring at my feet.

I thought I knew about all the mystical and amazing things in Spira… meeting Tidus really showed that. But these days I feel more and more like him, being surprised over and over, finding things out about my world that I never expected. How could this happen to me?

"Another machina? Man…" Rikku operated the machine with mastery.

"So this is Yevon's true face."

That sentence stayed with me for a long time.

What do you mean, Auron?

In light of the murder, the secrets, arranged marriages, death marches… but _machina_ is Yevon's _true_ face?

I realize he didn't mean it like that…

"They betray their own teachings."

That's the point, I know…

But I also know that it's not that simple.

Don't murder. But what if murder saves thousands of others?

Don't use machina. But what if the time saved using machina speeds along and motivates pilgrimages?

Don't lie. But what if lying saves lives.

This is why he didn't want me to be a Priestess. He cares for me, he doesn't want me to deal with all this double speak and complication.

But if I don't, who will?

That's the basis of my life, pretty much. If I don't die to defeat Sin, someone else will. Someone who has children, who can build a village, someone who has… a happy marriage…

If I don't use my natural instinct of compassion, who will be in my position? Will they think of a way to save lives? Will they think of a way to lead people correctly? As easily as I can?

Wakka sighs,

"They treated us like dirt…"

Maybe I can change that. No more Wakkas feeling stepped on, no more Maryas and Jyscals dying, no more Seymours being bullied and outcasted… I can change that. I must change that.

Mika is right. Sin is one problem. Murder and prejudice and downright laziness, it's my job to fix these too.

We completed the Trials and I entered the Chamber with newfound determination.


	11. Chapter 11

Hi. Thanks for checking in, I know it's been a while. =)

Spoilers. FFX is not mine. Rated T. AU. Is that all of them? I feel like I always forget one.

Let me know what you think. =)

* * *

"Hello, Yuna."

I rise as the fayth appears, a young boy with a gentle voice, his face hidden in hoods.

"Hello, what is your name?" This is a typical exchange when I meet new fayths. Some summoners give them their own nicknames, based on a meaningful conversation or beloved one. I like to know their true names; for me that gives a stronger connection, and that is what is most important.

"My name is Bahamut. You can call me whatever you like, though."

"I like Bahamut just fine. Thank you for appearing to me."

"Likewise, thank-you for calling us, and journeying to end our sorrow." Our?

"Your sorrow? You are suffering?" I suppose, watching this for all these years would be hard, but I don't think that's what he means.

"We are. We have been working so hard, for so many years, to defeat sorrow, and have found much sorrow doing so. It seems to never end."

I furrowed my eyebrows, unconsciously. I look at my knees for a moment. Sin keeps coming back. Our temple, here in the heart of Spira, uses machina; our priests lie and murder. Is it any wonder that Sin is coming back? What does one little island following the teachings matter compared to the sins of the largest city in the world?

Mika said, that defeating Sin wouldn't defeat sorrow, that people would abuse self righteousness and guilt and shame even after, and that is why a Summoner must be a perfect example. It isn't enough to defeat Sin, we must show the world how to live without Sin.

It is such a huge amount of responsibility… I wonder if that's partially why Sin comes back? I wonder if past Summoners have faced this responsibility and felt it too much? It was easier to defeat Sin, give Spira peace for a few years, and let the next one deal with the sins of the people…

But if we shirk that responsibility, what happens?

Can I do it all?

"I want to defeat the sorrow, not just defeat Sin. I want it to stop coming back."

"There is much you must do, much to sacrifice…"

"I know. I have one life, one life to do as much for Spira as I can… and I can do it." One life… one chance… to make a difference…

Bahamut flew through me then, imparting his aeon to me.

Somehow I felt… like I was still missing a piece of the puzzle…

Maybe it's exhaustion talking? I am feeling so tired… vision starting to get hazy… I can't do this again, why do I do this?!

I snap my head up and shake it vigorously for a moment. The air feels brisk. I'll nap later.

I walk slowly, steadily, out of the chamber. I see my guardians faces flick towards me with veiled excitement, like always. There are more faces now. It feels like every Cloister I go to, another face is added. It's wonderful, wonderful to be loved and have so many I can trust. I smile warmly at them.

"Let's go rest." I say, and we proceed.

I know… I've made a decision. I know I will tell them. I just don't want to yet.

What will I do? How will I schedule everything?

We walk through the completed Cloister, on imaginary blue panels, already completed to form a walkway.

I can't wait to tell them.

We get to the entryway, in the dark hall, is when I stop walking with them.

"Wait." They turn to me. "I have something to say." They turn just a little more, interest piquing. I see Auron, second closest to me, his expression indeterminable.

"I've made a decision… I'm going to become ordained to be a Priestess."

Rikku is excited, her gasp the prevailing sound in the otherwise deafeningly quiet hall.

Auron is almost completely stoic. Perhaps he let out a "hm," perhaps not.

The others, they don't respond at first, but slowly they start to smile. They try to hide it.

But they're happy, happy for anything that postpones my death march.

"As you wish." Auron says flatly, and turns, and walks to the front, and goes. We all follow, eventually.

Well Tidus, he doesn't follow. He goes to, but then he stops, and faces me again. He's still smiling, but something has darkened his face.

"So, you'll be spending a lot of time in the Church… with the Maesters…" A silent second follows, and then he sort of scratches his head.

"Yes… I'll be studying, mostly, and doing service." He looks at me.

"Well, we can help with that." He gestures with his arms a little. It makes me smile.

"I'd… love to involve you… whenever I can." I smile to my eyes. But his smile is still stale. Because, my husband is going to be helping me, teaching me, testing me, more than anyone else. I know he will, I know him.

We retire to the Inn, and we begin readying our rooms and ourselves to sleep. Then, a Guado comes looking for me. It isn't Jory. Is it any use remembering anyone? As… similar (for lack of a more sensitive term) as they all look, they seem to be different everyday.

"Lady Yuna, it is time you come to the manor."

"I must?"

"Maester Seymour feels much more comfortable that you are safe and well taken care of there."

"What makes you think she's not safe and cared for here, ya?" Wakka steps in between us, and throws his weight around a bit.

"Lady Yuna has access to all the information, guards, menus, and housekeeping she desires there, sir."

"And access to her husband, Seymour." Tidus chimes in. It makes me not want to comment, but, I don't feel like I really have the option… if I don't go peacefully… (there will be some reason invented that I must go.)

"I could really use the studying. After all, becoming a Priestess is going to be hard work, I should get started ASAP." I turned to go with the Guado then. "Thank you for reminding me."

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," I say before we exit the Inn, wishfulness in my tone. I do wish I was staying with them.

We walk the orange and blue bridges under the nightsky, full of stars and city light. Well, not quite so full of stars as it is on the islands, but it gives it its own unique sight, its own feel, and it's nice. The air is cool, and the buildings and bridges are slightly illuminated by the stars and the city lights, and it is a beautiful sight, and I wish… I wish that if anyone was showing me this city, that it was him. I wish that Seymour was with me.

It has been almost a day since we've seen each other.

Is that weird? That's not a long time. I just, I expect to see him a lot, after everything he pulled to see me more before Zanarkand, and being in this city at all… so… it's not that I want to see him all day, everyday, I just expect to see him a lot.

So when I see him, at the manor, blue spikes and thick robes filling a large space, I feel… refreshed… like I've gotten the thing I've been waiting for…

He walks to me, and takes my hand, and kisses it lightly. His lips are cool, pleasant on my warm skin.

"A pleasure to see you again, my wife." I suppose 'my wife' replaces 'mlady,' pretty evenly. I feel myself blush a little. "It is getting late, too late to really do anything. Perhaps you could tell me about your day before we head to bed?" Separately, of course. It's a figure of speech.

He hasn't let go of my hand.

"I do want to study, at least a little." I told them I was going to study, that that was the reason I should come here… hey, how did he know about my decision anyway?

"I don't want you to hurt your eyes looking at those old books," he puts an arm around my shoulders and faces us toward the study, "let me give you a crash course. And oh!" He turns to face me again, hands on my shoulders, and squeezes slightly, "have you eaten? You were in the temple for hours, did you get dinner? Let's talk over dinner. What would you like?"

So we sit in the study, eating Wolf chops (they stay fresh because everything in Macalania's frozen!), and talking about everything from our day to the history of Spira.

"Auron's quite the stonewall, you know. You'd think I said I wanted a bologna sandwich, the way he said, 'As you wish!'" I giggled in spite of my guardian.

"He'd probably react the same way if you told him you were pregnant!" A dark joke, but funny nonetheless. Smiles looked truly foreign on Seymour's face, but nonetheless fascinating.

We laughed, and talked, and he listened intently when we got serious again and I told him how I felt and what I thought about becoming a Priestess.

And he delivered the crash course as promised.

"Do you know why, of all the land in Spira, most towns are situated on coasts and islands?" I thought about towns and where everything was, and realized he was right.

"The water? Trade?"

"Yes, that's part of it. But every single town is on the coast."

"I don't know, Why?"

"Bevelle and Zanarkand were the only cities that existed before Sin. You know this, you know of the war. Bevelle survived the war, Zanarkand did not, except for Yunalesca and her dome." Her dome? "These two cities were already on the water because, as you said, it was good for trade and commerce and overall tourism. You know, Zanarkand was an entire city atop the water, just because they could. Or at least, they thought they could. And Sin was born, you know that story. It's been a thousand years now.

"At first, towns and cities were situated where they normally would be, some near water for aforementioned reasons, some on land for farming and travel. Well, with the emergence of Sin was also a large growth in fiends. With Sin as a new threat, the fiend population grew, to the point where they were a real threat. You see, before Sin, fiends were rare and quickly dealt with. Sin brought much more death, many more spirits to become fiends, and many less warriors to defeat them. Towns were ran out.

"Spira faced mass depopulation, and was only saved by the first Summoners to defeat Sin. Of course, this was mostly damage control, as the Calm was a time to decimate the fiend population." I'm surely glad I ate, because this is making me sick, imagining the death toll.

"Well, around four hundred years after Sin's appearance, Spirans discovered a crucial tactic. As they ran toward the sea, the fiends became timid. The closer they got, the better it got. You see, land fiends are weak when in the water. It's not their element, obviously. Lure them into the water, attack them, they drown. They know this, of all the humanity they've lost, simple fear of drowning and instinct that it's not their element is not lost to them.

"Of course, there are water fiends. But they are escaped from by simply exiting the water. This creates a safe zone in the shores. As you may have noticed, the farther inland you get, the stronger the fiends. The fiends on Besaid and Kilika are rather weak because they are islands. Luca and Mi'ihen are protected by the Crusaders, the Djose road follows right along with the sea. The fiends in the Thunder plains are stronger, but also affected by the storm. And in Macalania and the Calm Lands, the fiends are even stronger. I will warn you, the fiends in Zanarkand are very strong, despite being basically on top of the water. This is because Yunalesca wishes to test those who enter."

"Anyway, around four to five hundred years after Sin was born, towns began to form on the coasts. Good thing, too; we almost faced extinction. Could you imagine that? A world run by fiends?" He laughed a throaty laugh, but I didn't truly laugh.

That's a terrifying image.

We went to bed (separate beds) soon after that. I certainly did learn a lot, it was very interesting and informative. How much does he know? How much is there to learn?

There's never a dull day in Bevelle.


	12. Chapter 12

AU. Spoilers. I don't own FFX. Rated T. Seymour x Yuna.

So, there's a bunch of spelling errors in these, I realize that. Most of them are like, add an s, so I don't worry, but the more I read things, the more I'm like, that's ridiculous. So I'll fix those soon (I think.) There's some things I want to change... minor things... some bigger things... but like, I need feedback, before I go and change something that's actually good =)

This chapter is fun. Well, exciting. So is the next. Hopefully there's not too much going on at once. =)

* * *

"Yuna, it's time to wake up." It was him, in my room, standing there, already dressed in his robes and ready for the day. The light is blinding, I rub my eyes painfully.

"It is?" I know it is. It's always time to wake up, time to send someone, time to rush off to Zanarkand.

"You have a ceremony to attend." He says matter-of-factly. Does he wake up like this? Ready? No bags under the eyes? No yawning? He didn't get any more sleep than I did.

I roused, and fingered through my hair, and flattened my skirts.

No breakfast yet, I suppose.

He extended his long, spindly fingers to take my hand. I obliged.

The sun is brighter than the room, illuminating the beautifully colorful city. Bridges glow orange and blue and white, banners of bright purple and pink decorate the ledges, amazing artistry decorates the walls and walkways. The whole image of the city pays homage to Yevon with their design.

What time is it? Seven? Six? It still seems so early…

Children are the main population at the moment, another indication of the time. They're running and playing and holding streamers and pinwheels. Mothers can be seen and heard calling for them, making breakfast. I smell it… Must we wait to eat?

"Maester Seymour and Summoner Yuna!"

"First comes love, then comes marriage!"

"My mom says Maesters and Summoners make a power couple! Uh… I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool!"

We do see adults though, and then,

"Maester Seymour and Lady Yuna! On your way to the inauguration?"

"Yes, we must haste." He answers.

The man snaps a picture before we can blink. "That's great! Can I get a kiss for the papers as well?"

My mouth drops. It's too early for this. Seymour meets my eyes, questioning expression.

He takes my silence as a lack of objection and takes me in his arms. I mean, there's no reason to object, he _is_ my husband. I _did_ marry him for Spira's happiness, so this kind of exactly fits the bill.

His lips are warm this time, following the suit of the summer sun. He kisses me tenderly and his arms around mine are comforting, pleasant. Falling into the moment, I put my arms around his neck as well, ignoring the flashes.

"Hey, thanks!" The man runs off, presumably to the presses, and we break our kiss.

It was nice.

Why don't I do that more often? Or, why haven't I done that more often? I replay the moment a few times before we get to the Church.

And then I straighten up. The sight of Priests and Priestesses always bring me back to my center, back to my senses. The rooms dimly lit by candlelight helps as well.

"Summoner Yuna, welcome, right this way." Seymour lifts my hand and kisses it then.

"You're not coming?"

"No, Yuna. This part I cannot attend." It genuinely surprised me… that's all.

I turn away and follow the Priest into the lecture hall, the last door on the right. I don't look back to Seymour again.

"We are gathered here to inaugurate our dedicated brothers and sisters into the Priesthood of Yevon. On this day, 74 of year 1000 PS."

"That's Post-Sin," one of the other students whispered to me. Hey, who said I didn't know?

"We have seven worthy candidates of Priesthood with us today. Please stand at attention. Sir Jehru of the Guado, Lady Yuna from the isle of Besaid, Sir Hiran of the Ronso, Sir Froloch of Macalania, Lady Relia of Djose, Sir Genga of Kilika, and Sir Barthus of Bevelle. We shall now take vows." Everyone is from all over, it's amazing. "Please answer in the order from which you were called. Do you solemnly swear to serve Yevon in all that you do?" Resounding 'I do's' were heard in order, myself following Jehru, the one who gave me the hint. "Do you swear to uphold moral standards and the teachings of Yevon, no matter what situation you find yourself in?" Resounding I do's again. "You are called to be an example, you are called to answer their questions and idolize the proper lifestyle, you are called to serve your leaders and follow orders. This position is not to be taken lightly; it is to be treated as dependent to the entire salvation of Spira. I ask of you, dear brethren, do you accept this responsibility, and swear to strive for morality and servitude for all of your days?" Resounding I do's. "Then I will now don you your respective robes, and grant you your books. Sir Jehru, please step forward." He is donned with a green robe, circling the neck and coming together at the breast, with symbols of Yevon throughout.

"He's got green robes because he's studied the 5th precedent and tested into it." Hiran whispers to me.

"I swear to uphold Yevon's teachings and be a beacon of wisdom to all who come to me." Jehru says with his right hand on his robes and his left on the book.

"I now ordain you an Accomplice Priest of Yevon." The Priest caresses Jehru's forehead with an oil, and he returns to his position beside me.

"Lady Yuna, please step forward."

"You gotta say that, too," Hiran whispers to me again.

The Priest places the blue robes around my neck; I bow slightly. They feel heavy, not so much literally but metaphorically… maybe it's this whole ceremony thing.

"I swear to uphold Yevon's teachings and be a beacon of wisdom to all who come to me," I repeated, my hands mimicking their places, feeling light and feminine compared to the bassy one before me.

"I now ordain you a Priestess of Yevon," and he draws the oil on my forehead as well. I return to my position and respectfully observe the rest of the inaugurates.

"We should study together. It can be tough being a girl during one of these things." Relia says to me after the ceremony closes. Her voice is dark, deep, strong; completely unlike mine. I can't help but admire her thick black braids and flawless skin.

"Yes, thank you," I bow. She laughs a little to herself. Well, what am I supposed to do? Is this the 'after class' goofing off part? I don't know anything about that.

"My name's Relia, but you knew that. And you're Yuna, Seymour's bride. Not so outgoing, for a wife of a Maester."

My cheeks turn red, I feel it.

"Hey, I didn't mean it as an insult. He did good, we could use more… sensitive people, in the clergy."

"It sounds like you've been in the study of Priesthood, before?"

"I failed my first time testing for Priestess."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, you didn't say anything wrong. It is what it is." Her ebony skin glistened in the candlelight. She's so calm, so much more confident than I. "Djose doesn't have many study tools. Well, I suppose any town far from Bevelle is lacking. What about Besaid? That's an island, so like, how did you study at all?"

"We have plenty of books and Priests on our island." Our Temple's Priest came right from Bevelle.

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend."

"You didn't… But I… never actually studied for this. It's kind of a… while I'm here, thing, you know?"

Relia's face scrunched a little.

Oh no.

"Yuna… Priesthood isn't a… 'while I'm here,' thing. This is important to people. We do really important things for people, you know?" She taps her finger to her chin for a moment. "You can't just… waltz in here, play Priestess for a while, just because you're a Maester's wife. This isn't a game."

"It's not like that. I'm a Summoner, I've sworn to do as much good as I can for Spira, that's what this is about for me."

"You can't just swoop in here and play a game for a little while just because you're a Summoner either. This is a serious position. You can't just… play everything."

I look in her face for a moment, looking for something more… but there's nothing. She walks away from me and begins talking to someone else.

Is that how people are going to see me? Have I made a mistake?

Well, the ceremony's over; I can leave.

"Oh, everyone!" The Priest calls. "We are having a celebratory breakfast in the Banquet Hall! Please attend."

I find myself alone, then, standing there. And then, I'm angry at Relia, for downplaying my position as Summoner. I'm not 'playing' as Summoner. I'm _dying,_ that's the least _playing_ thing I can think of in the world.

Well… except for maybe… living, as an example?

Still, I'm mad.

But, I'm alone, standing there. So, who cares if I'm angry?

I walk out of the lecture hall, into the main (huge) hallway. Seymour is still there. It makes me happy in a place I didn't really know existed before. His head is tilted upwards a little, and he smiles.

"Well, did they eat you alive?" My mouth drops. Today is mouth-dropping day, apparently. (Maybe I should make a calendar? Two-tone day, never-a-dull-day-in-Bevelle-day, mouth-dropping day?)

"You… you know?"

"Apprentice-Priestship is competitive to extreme degrees." He still has that smug look on his face. After the morning I've had, I'm not in the mood. Screw that, I'm angry. Again. His face changes to concern, then, and I think that he's finally going to come around. "What did they say to you? Did they call you an amateur? Did they call you a harlot?"

" **A harlot?!"** My blood boils, my fists ball, is he the stupidest man on the planet?! "As a matter of fact, they said they could use someone like me around, someone sensitive. They called me _valuable,_ maybe **you** should take a note!" And with that I stormed back into the lecture hall.

To my misfortune, they were just about to file **out** of the lecture hall, to the banquet. To think, I was hoping he would attend the banquet with me, to give me some comfort, despite being a sort of handicap. How could I be so… so needy? I'm not, I can do this, I will, and I chose to do this, on my own strength, not because I'm married to a Maester or because I'm a High Summoner's daughter or even because I'm a Summoner.

"Hey, need some company to the banquet?"

"I don't **need** any company!" I retorted, still thinking of Seymour.

Wait, but that wasn't Seymour talking.

Bright white teeth and tan skin flashed at me, then.

"Oh, ok, well, do you _want_ some company to the banquet?" Teeth flashed again, with cool, confident eyebrows. It's Barthus, from Bevelle. I could use someone to sit next to… someone that actually wants to sit next to me, anyway. "I'll take that as a yes," and he throws an overly muscled arm through mine before I have a chance to react.

We walk out of the lecture hall, arm in arm, and I immediately look for Seymour. Barthus holds his head high, and makes absolutely zero effort to spot my husband. I hold Seymour's gaze for several moments, inclining my head, staring behind me. He moves to follow, to attend, to… be there for me. But I remember, and I turn my head swiftly, holding my head high next to Barthus. I don't need him to babysit.

Well, we ate, in celebration of the inauguration. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who was hungry, as there wasn't much talking after the food was served. Barthus peeked at me from under his lashes a few times. Relia peeked at me from atop her lashes a few times. After everyone had eaten, small talk began.

"It's kind of amazing, you know, everything you're doing." Barthus says to me, leaning on one elbow.

"Th-thank you. Not everyone thinks so."

"Hey, they're just jealous, or worried about themselves. You gotta know that." He says, inclining his dark eyebrows. He's quite the spectacle, Bevellian, corded muscles, chiseled face…

"Perhaps. What about you?" Did you always know you wanted to be a Priest, since you were a little boy? (I talk to kids too much…)

"Yeah, I've pretty much been training my whole life. My dad's a Priest, my mom was a failed Summoner." He said it like out of a book.

"I'm so sorry, that must be tragic." He shrugs his shoulders.

"She's the one who failed." Cold… "Besides, it was forever ago."

A loud bell sounded, ten times. Ten o'clock?

"Time for the mid-Priests meeting, we shall meet back at 1 o'clock sharp, after lunch! Don't be late!" The Priest announced.

"Hey, come with me." Barthus said, taking my hand, giving me little choice.

He led me to one of the healing/studying rooms. I didn't see my husband when I scoped while we were moving.

Once inside, he looked into my eyes for a moment, his head inclined slightly, brunette hair falling around his forehead, and then…

He's pushing me into the wall behind me, placing warm lips on my lips, on my cheek, on my chin, on my neck. I'm pushing him away, but he thinks I'm pushing up on his shoulders and lifts me up and kisses my chest, first in between my robes, and then moving my robes with his chin. He stops and looks me in the eyes again, how does someone do that when they're doing _this_ to you?!

"I'm here if you need a little… stress relief."

"No! I don't need that and I don't need or want that from you!" I shake my head and try to push him away again but he, he's _laughing,_ and I'm scared and then _angry_ and **does he know what I'm capable of?!**

I grab his shoulders this time, instead of trying to push, and look _him_ in the eyes,

"Listen, _boy,_ you wanna stop what you're doing _**right now.**_ **"**

"Why, gonna call your husband on me?" He smirks.

The floor trembles, it catches fire, he's not smirking anymore.

A thousand pieces of debris explode as Ifrit twists through the floor, grabbing my waist in his wake, sending burning chucks flying. He takes a deep breath and roars a deafening roar, deafening even if it wasn't right next to my ear. Fire is coming out of his nose as he fumes; he was just waiting for me to call him to rectify this situation.

Barthus scrambles backwards, eventually to his feet, and makes for the door. He shouts, "You crazy bitch!" before exiting.

Ugh.

It doesn't take long for guards and Priests and, eventually, my husband, to arrive. When his gaze finally falls on my face, I see his eyes harden for a brief second, and then return to their normal stoic state. He silences the gasps and whispers and promises to handle the situation. He approaches me, speechless for once. I furrow my eyebrows unconsciously. I'm not about to feel guilty for this. He sighs, and deflates a little.

"Let's go somewhere private to talk." He finally says. For the first time, I notice the charred remains of the room I… destroyed.

He takes me by the hand and leads me, walking wordlessly. The rooms and roadways seem to fly by me in a haze; I see them but I don't really see them. I switch from looking around us to watching the blue robes before me, my beacon through the crowd and sunlight and walls.

Finally he sits us on a bed in a room, one arm propped behind my back. An Inn? Another healing room? I really couldn't tell you what time it is anymore. It might be 10:01, it might be 4PM. His garish blue locks feel comforting now, like a shield around me.

"I was scared," I say after a few moments.

"May I hold you?" he asks, almost… professionally. I look up and give a small nod, sucking my bottom lip in a little. He really only puts one arm around me, the one that was propped on the bed. We stay like this for a few minutes, I think. I'm beginning to regain my ability to feel time. "I'm sorry we had to go through all those people to get some privacy," he says simply. I lay my head on his shoulder.

A few more minutes go by.

I look up at his face, he turns to look down at mine.

"Where were you?" I can't hide the concern, the criticism, from my eyebrows.

"The mid-Priest meeting,"

"But you're a High Priest,"

"We monitor and sometimes lead such things."

I look at my hands in my lap for a moment, turning my fingers over in my palms.

"But, you knew you were going to it, didn't you? You couldn't have told me?" His face is unreadable. I turn a little, making more space between us, "You would say such horrible things to me, when you knew you were going to be away for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Horrible?" He laughs. I think he tried to restrain it, but nonetheless.

I scrunch my face, "Yes horrible, you don't think so?" He hiccoughs a couple laughs, still finding some sort of humor in this…

"Yuna, my dear, that apprenticeship can be very competitive, even violent. I truly thought they said such things to you already, or worse."

"Actually, they appreciated me," at first… "like maybe you should do." I crossed my arms at him, which is apparently funny as well.

"I do appreciate you," he takes my reluctant hands in his, "I value you, more than you will ever know." His eyes… his green, or blue, or grey, I'm not sure, eyes are bright, bottomless circles of bright color, that I think I could fall into forever. He puts my hands down on the bed, and inclines his head downward a little, looking at me through his lashes, "If they hadn't spoken to you so harshly yet, I hope it was a little easier hearing it from me first. I'm glad to be the one for you to be angry with, to take it out on. I hope I can give you more comfort that way."

So I told him everything, how it started off well, both times actually, and turned awful. Recounting the story, I felt foolish, like I could've prevented it. He assured me that that was one of the better word-twisting and taking advantage situations that he'd seen, and that I really didn't do anything wrong.

"It's dog-eat-dog, Yuna.

"After all, only one apprentice will be accepted into Priest training." What? I feel like I really should have known this before this moment. How is that right? "Trust me, it weans out the… well the wrong candidates, to say the least." I leaned into him a little. I wonder if this is screwing up his day. Out of nowhere, he laughs, a throaty laugh. "Believe it or not, that's not the most eventful first day we've had."

I look up at him, corners of his mouth pulled into a real smile, a real laugh. Maybe it's at someone else's expense, but it's truly a unique sight. A few blue strands find their way onto his face.

I reach up, bracelets clanking a little, to put them back in place. You know… I could use a kiss that isn't forced from a stranger.

His hand comes up to cup my face, and he leans toward me.

Did I actually say that? I'm pretty sure I just thought it…

He kisses me, kisses me differently than he ever has before. He kisses me deeply, slowly, making all the other kisses seem like little pecks. My hand is still lightly touching his face where I put his hair back, and I slide it around the back of his neck, blue locks tickling my wrist. He moves closer to me, pushes his face harder into mine, wraps his other arm around my waist, pulling me closer, smooshing my bow and his robes… it's exhilarating, and I've never…

He takes my jaw in between his thumb and forefinger, and looks me in the eyes, smiling… His smile is like a rare gift, so seldom on his face. Of course, he smiles plenty often, politely, convincingly… but real smiles, real emotion, is an infrequent visitor to his face. For a moment, I forget about all else.

For a moment, I want this. This man, who speaks about his own life like some sort of history book, rigid, but soft to me, opens up slightly to me. This marriage, respected and celebrated by all, bringing happiness to all, giving me a title I never thought I'd have. And these eyes, purple in this moment, cutting through me, and I never want them to stop. For a moment, I want this, all of this, completely, and I reach up to touch his face again, part my lips to tell him, and…

"We have classes to get to," he smiles more, but it turns into that polite smile, eyes focusing on me…

My face falls, involuntarily. A slew of emotions rush to me, longing, sadness, an underlying but fierce anger… mostly, dissatisfaction. He looks to me, still with that… that almost condescending smile, but there is concern in his eyes. He kisses my forehead.

"My dear, we really are on a tight schedule, you and I both." I hear the words but my emotions are still warring, evenly matched enough so that I am speechless. "Yuna," he finally drops the smile, looking down for a moment and then back to my eyes, "I will see you later tonight." He looks down for a moment again, and then straightens himself up, "If you would allow me, I'd like to take you on a date." My face perks up. It's not that it's, I don't know, what I was looking for, but it is intriguing.

Have I ever been on a date?

I smile contentedly, and nod. We'll see how this turns out.


	13. Chapter 13

So, it's been forever. Sorry about that. And, I need to tell you something... When I first imagined this story, the reason Yuna was "such a good candidate for Priestess-hood" was because she's half Al Bhed and was to unite the races like Jyscal and his wife. I totally forgot that when I was writing it. I knew I was forgetting something then, but couldn't think of it... I thought that was really compelling too. But, maybe it's better this way. Definitely longer. I have one idea of how to introduce that later, but it's really... intense. I've just watched all of GoT as well so that doesn't help. Actually in my day to day life I'm just like, whatever I watched someone kill their brother last night what's today got for me, yknow? Anyone else have that? :p Desensitizes you a little. Like I think I intended this to be kinda light, like maybe stay PG even, but now my brain is just like... I could do this evil thing.

Anyway, sorry for the long intro. What's this rated? G or something? Oh, T. I don't own FFX. This is a Seymour x Yuna. Spoilers. Ummmm is that all of them?

* * *

There's a few more classes in my day, lots of history, like Seymour was telling me.

We studied the history of Sin's attacks, a little. It seems to have never attacked Bevelle, which is interesting.

As I exit my last class for the day, a Guado hands me a parcel. It reads, _8 o'clock, my manor._ That's the time of our date, I suppose… I must get to Lulu and Rikku!

"I have a date," I blurt out.

"Wi-" Rikku starts to say something, but Lulu jabs her in the ribs quickly. "What are you wearing?" She finishes.

"I don't know! What do I wear?"

"This is a good question that shopping can solve!" Rikku says excitedly. We both sort of turn to Lulu, unofficially asking for permission. She smiles slowly in return.

"A shopping trip is in order. It's been a while since Yuna has had new clothes," she says, almost like I'm her five year old daughter. No matter, Rikku and I are squealing and grabbing odds and ends and scrambling out the door. Shopping in Bevelle, it must be so amazing!

That answers one question (sort of,) but what about all the others? How will I address him? What will we talk about? How do I conduct myself?

"Have I ever been on a date before? I need advice!" I say sisterly to them.

They're holding different dresses in front of me,

"Stand up straight,"

Green dress, puke face reaction,

"Mind your manners,"

Purple dress, perplexed face,

"Hold your chest out, and keep your head up, or tilt it down, like this…" Rikku demonstrated a plethora of different poses, none of which I'll remember, I'm sure…

A blue top with white pants, heads shaking.

"No, be more classy, be alluring, like this," Lulu then demonstrated some more poses, seemingly more sexy despite what she had said…

"Well now that's worse than what I did!"

"Well we have religion over here, we gotta do things more inconspicuously-"

"Guys? I don't think I'll be trying to seduce him…" They stopped and looked at me, and then at each other. Apparently, this inspired some great idea, and they both ran off in the same direction. They came back with a dress, one hand on it each. It was… short, to the middle of my thighs maybe, and light blue, decorated with soft pink flowers. It cinched my waist, creating a flattering effect.

From that point on, they were both in heavy concentration toward makeup and shoes and hair and nails. They were at least on two different body parts at any given time. Rikku even found a bra that… enhanced… very well… but Lulu pulled my dress to cover me up. I thought that ironic.

By the time I was ready to look in a mirror, I was so exhausted I was ready for bed… but then, I saw myself.

I never saw myself so… pretty. The look was simple, not overboard. Strappy sandals, painted blue nails, light blue dress with pink flowers, simple gold necklace, hair pulled into a thatch, pink cheeks…

I began to worry about how to compose myself on the date again.

"You'll do fine, just be yourself!"

"Don't bring up Sin." Rikku and I kind of shot a glance at Lulu. "What? It's ruined dates for me before. I'm not kidding."

"Be confident! You're great!"

"You truly are, you are a wonderful woman." Hearing that from my big sister warmed my heart in a way I can never describe… but it did make me think.

How much do I really want to impress Seymour? And how much do I want to simply appease him?

"Enjoy yourself." Rikku added as they finally pushed me away, (bags on their arms.)

I walked away from the shopping mall then, but there was still a few hours before 8… So I wandered around until I found the guys training with the warrior monks.

The sun was still bright, still shining through the breaks in the buildings. Their toned muscles were highlighted and defined in the setting sunlight. All four of them were going through sword practices, making Wakka and Kimahri look a little goofy. Auron and Tidus however were powering through with expert precision.

"Too quick on the draw! You'll lose momentum!" Someone chanted from above. Tidus seemed to grunt a bit. Auron swung heavily, like he normally does. I suppose this is his forte.

They looked at me here and there, but only for moments. Kimahri finally came up to me and explained that they were hilt-deep in training and wouldn't be able to stop for a while.

I suppose, that makes me happy. I was worried that it would be boring to wait around for me to study. And I suppose there's no one here to object, to anything…

I hear swords clash as I turn to go to the manor.

I'm ready anyway, so I study until Seymour arrives.

I become more and more anxious as 8 gets closer… I mean, I've been on dates with him before, right? Technically… there was that breakfast, the first day after my guardians' wrongful imprisonment… and the dinner, where he told me some of Spira's history. Well, he kind of surprised me with the breakfast, and it was kind of inspired by his desperation to spend time with me before we all rushed to Zanarkand. And, the dinner, well I had to go back to the manor one way or another, so it made sense to have dinner together… Anyway, this is our first date-date, no ulterior reasoning behind it…

I flatten my skirt, it's already flat… it's 7:45… A Guado enters the room.

"Maester Seymour arrives soon, come into the lobby?" I nod and follow him.

This is starting to feel like… I don't know, a dentist appointment, or an interview. Maybe that's just the escort.

To my relief Seymour is there shortly, dressed in especially normal (but still formal) clothes. Dark gray slacks, with black boots that I can only barely see when he walks, a white button up shirt with a black jacket, which keeps the cowl from his Maester status. It reminds me of his wedding attire, a little. He walks toward me, an ombre figure, guarded by two long blue spikes at either side.

"Shall we go?" He extends a long-fingered hand to me, and I take it, feeling the warmth between our hands.

"Two glasses of wine, please," he orders for drinks after we are at the restaurant.

"What if I didn't want wine?" I whisper harshly after the waitress leaves.

"Give it a try," he says in a smooth alto voice, and I concede. I can always change my mind. "So how was the rest of your classes? Less eventful, I hope?"

I chuckle a little. "Yes, thankfully." I suppose it's not too early to laugh about it.

Two glasses arrive, and the waitress pours wine into them in front of us. I can't help but notice Seymour's eyes flicker to her black skirt as she walks away behind me.

"So… what about you? How were the meetings?"

"Boring, Yuna. We attend and monitor them as a formality. Many of the are the same; you'll soon find out."

"Really? There are so many interesting things I'm studying… I feel as though I shall never run out!"

"What did you study today?"

"Some of the history of Sin's attacks," I reply. He is silent for a moment. It looks as though he's calculating something in his head.

"Yes, you're in cycle 4, version A."

"Cycle? Version?"

"Yes, there are different cycles of information, to accommodate varying skill levels. There are different versions as well, and these are all repeated, so that hopefully no one goes through the same lessons twice.

"However, Sin's attacks, that's not a topic I can summarize for you."

"I don't need you to summarize anything for me."

"Oh, Yuna. I didn't mean it condescendingly. You have a great study tool, in me. I've basically got every cycle and every version memorized. You would be a fool not to make use of that."

I thought on that for a moment. He drew a sip of wine. I decided it was a good idea to do the same, see how it tastes.

It's delightful. I mean, I've had wine before, I'm not an infant. But no, it's not a lot, and what I've had was… well to be honest, backyard distilleries. This wine is exquisite. Alcoholic, of course, strongly, but still very tasty. I must have betrayed something on my face, because Seymour is looking at me, one corner of his lips quirking up in interest.

"So, how did you come to memorize all of that? That's so much information."

"Like I said, mandatory meetings. Yuna, I've been doing this since I was a child. I became a Priest at twelve, younger than any other Priest ever."

"How did you do that?"

"Knack for education, I guess. That's really all there is to it. There's only so much to learn." Something smelled… peculiar when he said that. I also noticed that my glass was half empty, not in the way that they're supposed to be.

Seymour ordered for us, fish being the special tonight. I guess Bevelle has a great selection of fish, being mostly on the water and in the middle of the world.

Sometimes I feel like I know so little, like my little island knowledge is so irrelevant compared to all the food and war and religion history there is in this city. But Seymour, he's fascinated by everything I tell him, about the fiends, the culture, the trades, of my little island.

"We're actually skilled seamstresses and designers on Besaid, we get a lot of commerce that way." I feel like I sound like him or one of my teachers, and yet I'm repeating the things I've heard my whole life. Still he sits there as interested as a child.

We actually have a lot more to talk about than I thought. I didn't need to be so nervous after all. Granted, a lot of it is about… well, school. But it's interesting. I mean, this isn't just some school subject, this is our lives. This is what I've dedicated my life to, learning and living the way of Yevon, to rid the world of Sin…

"Speaking of which, what about the machina in the temple?"

"What of it?"

"Well, why is it there? It's against the teachings."

"It saves time, and energy. All Summoners must come through Bevelle, and it's the largest city in Spira. Not to mention… when you exit the Cloister, the puzzle is still set up… but then what? Who do you think resets everything?" I guess… I don't know, I thought, it reset itself? "We do, the Priest of the temple does. Maybe with magic, perhaps not, exhausting either way." Except here, in Bevelle, the machina does it, I guess.

"Saving time… that's part of why machina was banned, because humans relied on it too much, isn't that right?"

"The Church decides. In this case, it could save lives."

"Seems like a rather large gray area…"

Seymour looked at me, with those eyes that I've decided are some shade of purple. I could tell he wanted to say more on the topic, but was waiting for something more from me about it. This is our first date, technically… I don't want to get in a debate.

"Maester Seymour and Lady Yuna! Oh my Yevon I can't believe I'm seeing you, in person, at this restaurant! Can I get a photo? An autograph? This is so adorable!" Two girls walking by invited themselves to gush over us.

"My my my, look at those clothes… Seymour, you're looking particularly handsome tonight. Oh Yuna- Lady Yuna- you're so lucky. He's a 10 in every way," the other girl chimed to me.

"Thank you ladies. If you don't mind, let us resume our date in peace."

"Enjoy!"

"Ta-ta!"

I blushed a little. Seymour looked completely unaffected.

"You're used to that, aren't you?"

"You're used to people asking if you'll bring the Calm?" A moment of understood confirmation from us both followed.

"Any dessert for you tonight? More wine?" The waitress asks. Seymour looks to me.

We left after sharing one more glass of wine. I was beginning to really feel it… I mean, I wasn't stumbling… but it was nicer to hold onto Seymour's arm as we walked than not. I was comfortable, happy. My cheeks felt flushed.

We decided to walk back to his manor, taking the long way, to see the stars. They're quite brilliant in Bevelle, being so elevated. I think they might be better in Besaid though; not so many lights.

"In that building there," he points a long, spindly finger toward one of the buildings, "My group that was running for Priesthood, we got so drunk, and tried to walk a straight line that was painted on the floor. We had a bet that whoever did it best would get the most testimonies of honor the next day."

"Was it hard to do?"

He let go of me. "Try to walk a straight line, like a tightrope, right now."

I tried. By the time I got to him, I fell into his arms, the both of us laughing.

"Imagine being five times as drunk." My goodness.

A little ways down the bridge, I stopped to look over the city.

"This is where… Kimahri found me, after my father defeated Sin. I was seven." I lean on the wall there, and Seymour leans on it next to me after a moment. "I had already celebrated a little, and I stopped here, and watched everyone else celebrate. I realized my father was gone, and everybody was happy about it… except for me." I stare out for a moment, like I did that day, and then… "Why am I telling you this… I was happy about it, I **am** happy about it…"

"Yuna, you don't have to hide your feelings with me. I know you try not to show any sadness or anger, to inspire people, and that's a strong trait… but you can open up to me. Show these things to me, so that you can show a fresh face to Spira." He looks in my eyes when he says this, and it's so tempting too.

"Well… I was a little angry. I was angry that everyone was so happy that my father was dead… No, I know they weren't happy that my father was dead…"

"But in a way, they were. And you were seven."

I could feel the alcohol lending to my emotions. I don't want to break down about this, not right now.

"Thank you, Seymour, for understanding. Let's go back to the manor."

We walked back, talking about the stars or the buildings we passed, until we got to the manor.

We stood awkwardly in the 'lobby' for a minute. I know that I'm not in love with him, and this marriage wasn't founded on love, and I don't have to play like I am in love. I have complete freedom to be separate from him when not in public, but, well, right now it just feels like we should be going to the same room.

"Seymour, would you… come sit with me… for a little bit?" I don't know what to say. This reminds me of when I asked Tidus to be a guardian in Kilika. I'm not good at these things, okay? What am I supposed to ask, for him to tuck me in?

He follows me to the guest bedroom wordlessly. We sit on the bed.

"Are you feeling alright?" Genuine concern is in his voice.

"Yes, a little… tipsy, I suppose, but yes I'm feeling alright." I don't think I've ever been drunk or even tipsy before, really. He puts his hand on mine.

"You know, this room is usually used for… much less beautiful company. I'm not sure if it's up to par."

"Up to par?"

"Well, a lady such as yourself should have a more beautiful room, equipped with soaps and sheets and pleasures of the finest quality. This room is usually used for Priests from out of town or family members. Actually, I stayed in this room a few times when my father used this manor."

He looked at the walls as if recollecting. One long blue tail rested on his shoulder nearest me, and suddenly I noticed how beautiful a shade of blue his hair really is. My hand wandered up to touch it, a little rough, like Guado hair is. He looks at me, the strong jawline angling to face me now…

And I kiss him, this time. I lean towards him, planting my lips on his, pulling my hand up to his face, giving in to my feelings. He returns the kiss, tenderly cupping my face as well.

"Tell me you love me again," I think out loud.

"I do, I love you," and my lips are on his again, my hands grasping his cowl, his collar, and kissing him faster…

"Yuna, you've been drinking,"

So what? I'm not _drunk_ , I just… I want…

"I want to be happy," I pause, because that's not exactly a response to what he said, "it's got nothing to do with drinking. Well, maybe, but it's just because, I want to be happy. I want to, well…" I think for a second, but, it's better to just show…

I kiss him again, and he kisses me back, coming closer to me, falling into it more, and more, and with his arms around my back he lays me down and kisses me more and I'm on fire, I'm happy and eager and at peace all at once. He kisses my lips, my cheek, and traces a line down my neck, my collar bones, and a little moan escapes me. He looks up at me and smiles a devilish smile.

It's at that moment that it occurs to me, I've never done this. Never done anything like this.

Apparently, this occurs to him as well. Maybe a second too early.

He kisses me on the lips again. "You really need your sleep." He smiles a wry smile, but he's right. If he didn't say it, I would be saying it a second later.

I still wanted to be the one to say it, though.

With the aid of alcohol, I fall asleep rather quickly.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you for the reviews! :D They really help with motivation and all. Thinking I have a much better map in place for this thing. I hope you enjoy!

Rated T, Spoilers, I don't own FFX, AU, Seymour x Yuna

* * *

I wake, my eyelids heavy, my whole body feeling heavier than usual.

"Class starts in twenty minutes, m'lady." The voice startles me; it's a pale skinned Guado in the corner of the room. My eyes are fully open now.

I sit up slowly, and see that I'm still wearing the short blue dress from last night. That's when the whole night starts coming back to me… the dinner, the walk, the kissing… I need to talk to Lulu.

First, I've got classes.

I enter the lecture hall, the last door on the right in the Church, right on time… I think… everyone else is already sitting, maybe I'm a little late…

As I take my seat, I notice that Barthus isn't present. I suppose, that makes sense, after yesterday. He probably got kicked out of the program. Everyone seems to be more focused today. I suppose we got our excitement out yesterday.

Everyone is still serious after class is let out for lunch. I make my way out of the lecture hall, intending to find Lulu.

"I can't believe Barthus is gone," I hear one of the church patrons say as I'm walking. Gone? He's just out of the program, right?

"I know, so young." The other responds. My stride slows. He's just out of the program, right? I stop, and look over my shoulder at them. I want to say something, but I'm the last person to, right?

"What are you looking at?"

"I just couldn't help but hear-"

"That Barthus is dead?" I gasp. Dead?!

"He was my cousin."

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that, I-"

"Yeah, sure you are. Just go." I obey, turning to go.

I must find Seymour.

It wasn't too hard to find him after I found the Guado in the corner of the Church. We went to one of the healing rooms to talk.

"How was class this morning, my dear?"

"Less populated than yesterday," I reply.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, I heard that Barthus is dead. Do you know anything about that?" I ask accusingly.

"Well, it is part of my job to know such things, yes."

"How did he die?" I ask impatiently. He gives me a perplexing look, like he's thinking about how to answer. "Just tell me the truth, how did he die?"

My face fell as soon as he said his first word:

"We decided to eliminate him," I buried my face in my hands, "for the safety Bevelle."

"You killed him!" I'm crying, again. My husband **is** a killer. How could I have…

"Yuna," he puts his hands on my shoulders. For a split second I am back in bed with him, with him kissing my neck, my chest… I feel naked under his gaze, taking the breath out of me. I want to shrug his hands off but I'm so exhausted. "Think about it. What if it were someone else, someone who doesn't have Aeons, or guardians, or a Maester for a husband? What would a Priestess, with no combat training, have done?" I thought about it for a moment… I suppose…

"She would have been raped." he says bluntly. It takes me by surprise, but I suppose, he's right.

I sit on the couch.

"Was it… necessary?" I ask, more accusingly than questioningly. He sits next to me.

"Yuna… I saw you yesterday, you were… scared, your eyes were… well they were absent. You were having a panic attack, because he attacked you."

"He, he thought I was… pushing against him, when I was pushing away,"

"No, he knew what was going on. He continued anyway." I thought about it for a moment… I thought it was a misunderstanding, but maybe… "People like that, they don't… stop. They're going to hurt someone, no matter how much they're punished. Yuna…

"This is the largest city in Spira. There is crime here, differing opinions, etcetera. What would've happened in Besaid?" I thought for a moment. Nothing like that has ever happened in Besaid, to my knowledge. "Sin is enough crime for most of the small islands and towns in Spira. Here, Sin seldom attacks," never, according to my studies, "and there is a large population. Whenever there are a lot of people, there are different opinions, different beliefs, and they fight, and even war. This is a reality, you must accept it and handle it."

Lunch break is almost over, I know. I feel him readying to part ways, but I wish we didn't have to.

He stands up then, as if sensing my emotion… can he?

"Besides," he gives me a meaningful look, "You are _my wife."_ And he exits.

So, regular criminals will die, should their crime involve me? That's… taking it a bit out of context. He kissed me, against my will, might have… raped… me. And Seymour loves me. That's not really fair, to take emotions to that level, but…

Is that why everyone was so quiet during classes?

Do people even get kicked out of this program?

"Is it possible, to be kicked out of this apprenticeship?" I ask the Priest when we return to classes.

"No. Once one is approved to enter the apprenticeship, there is no exiting. We determine one candidate at the closure." He answers me. Gee, was I wrong, this morning.

After that class, we are let out for the day. I stroll the city then, partially looking for my guardians. I find Lulu, Rikku, and Kimahri attending a black magic class. I wait, watching, maybe trying to learn something, but it's all over my head. So I take the time to think, while watching them. It seems appropriate.

They're training, for combat. They're training, to hurt and to kill. This training, black magic, swordsmanship, spears, projectiles… combat training dating back thousands of years, before Sin, before large populations of fiends, because?

Because people fight, people war. People can be evil. And evil people can't be stopped.

That is reality, I have to accept it.

It's… Well it's not easy to fight fiends, they're not _really_ monsters, they're souls of the departed. The thing is, it can't be helped. There's no way to send a fiend, you have to kill it. That makes it easier, knowing there's no other way. With people, it feels like there is a way. I believe there is a way. Seymour seems to believe there is not.

Well, Barthus is dead. There's no changing that, whether he was evil or not. A part of me wants to pay respects… but I don't think I would be welcome.

So, Seymour believes that evil people won't stop, and that's important. He had Barthus killed, with good intentions. I still think him wrong, but it's not that he's a stone cold killer. He's just… a little mixed up. He goes to extremes, thinks he has to go to extremes. Maybe I will try to talk to him about it, see what makes him do that…

 _Maybe_ I should be mad and hate him.

I don't know if it's patience or exhaustion that makes me so calm about it, this time. **This time.** Because this has happened before, isn't that messed up? This is… the second time that a Maester has decided someone should die to protect others, the second time that Seymour has gone to extreme lengths to protect someone.

Maybe I'm sensitive. Maybe this is what it means to be a Priestess. These are the kinds of things that are talked about.

We waited ten years for a statue of my father in Besaid. They're already drawing up blueprints of my statue, here.

The others are finishing up class. Rikku shakes the man's hand vigorously, while Lulu prays, her black braids falling around her shoulders. Kimahri is stoic, of course. I see their faces change as they notice me.

"Hey, how was class?" Rikku asks enthusiastically, wiping a few beads of sweat from her forehead.

Hey, how was class? Terrible.

"It was alright. What about you guys? Seems you're learning quite a bit yourselves."

"When in Bevelle," was Lulu's bassy reply. So, how do I bring up what I want to bring up?

"Lulu?" She makes an inquisitive hm sound. "Are you free to talk?" I guess that's how. Rikku smiles goodbye to me as she pats me on the back while walking past.

"Hey Kimahri, let's go over those stances some more! I know Lulu's got them down."

"Is everything alright?" Why ask that? Why not just, what's on your mind? Or, how was your date with Seymour? Or something. Not that. Cause no, nothing is alright.

"Yes, I wanted some… advice, from my big sister… if possible."

"Of course, anything."

"Well, Seymour and I had our date last night. And, it went really well. And we went back to the manor together and… we kissed, a lot." We started walking towards and sat on a nearby bench. "It was really nice… but I feel…

"How do I stop that from happening again? What if I… can't stop myself?"

"Well why should you?"

"We've always been taught to practice abstinence," Lulu put her hand on her hip when I said this.

"Hm, well, you are married to him, that no longer applies to you."

I thought on this for a moment, looking at her perfectly powdered purple lips. They seem a bit more scrunched than normal… did I say something weird? I feel like everything I'm saying is weird.

"Ok… if something _does_ happen… how can I be… not so weird?" I looked at her pleading. Her face softens then, and she smirks to her eyes, and brings that wide sleeve up to cover her chuckles. Hey!

"You _do_ need to freshen up on your conversational skill. Let's spend some time together," and with that we were off, strolling through the bright city, making our way through large and small crowds. We grabbed something to eat in another adorable café, and continued strolling through Bevelle. We even found a public courtyard with some beautiful flowers and plants. Lulu particularly liked one that looked like a black flower… I've never seen a black flower before! Neither had she.

Eventually we went to the inn they were staying at, so we could talk more privately.

Oh, it was awkward.

For me.

But she's my big sister, so it didn't stay awkward forever. It took a little while to get comfortable with certain… words and… images… but mostly just talking about them with someone. I'm just glad it's my big sister.


	15. Chapter 15

When did I update last? I think it was a while ago, so I'm sorry, started a new job... anyway. I enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope I did well on it. I'm still trying to write a few chapters ahead before adding too much at once, y'know?

Oh I had a weird idea for a Tidus x Rikku fic... where Tidus is a cheating d-bag. From the perspective of Rikku and maybe Auron. Where later they can get together. I like the Rikku x Auron pairing as messed up as it is, and that's all because of the Soldier of Spira fic. Which, btw is an amazing AMAZING fic, but read at your own risk because it was never finished. Anyway, I played the end of the game recently to figure something out and saw how sweet Tidus and Yuna were and then my heart couldn't think of that idea anymore. But that was a few days ago so maybe I could ;P would anyone be interested in that?

Rated T, AU, I don't own FFX, Seymour x Yuna, ummm... what am I forgetting.. Spoilers! =)

* * *

A few days later, before I was even five minutes into class, a Guado guard had me pulled out.

"What's going on?"

"Seymour requests your presence for a meeting."

"A meeting? Isn't it imperative that I study and attend class?" He didn't reply. I studied his blue locks while we walked, as conversation wasn't exactly happening. They were a gorgeous color of blue, but almost… bark-like.

"Seymour, what's this about?"

"You are required at this morning's small council meeting, as my wife and Priestess in training." He would say no more on the matter, and opened his large hand toward the double doors that the Guado is now opening.

"Good morning everyone, good to see you all. High Priest Ronan?" I think that was Kinoc speaking, but he was far away and in the shadow of the room. I was still getting my seat next to Seymour. Maester Mika sits at the apex of the table.

The room… the room itself is exquisite. Golden pillars, golden beams, golden sunlight coming in through large windows… the table was of a rich brown wood, mostly square but gnarled in places. I wonder why that is, this being a very official council room?

"We have several issues to address this morning." And then, High Priest Ronan, old and gnarled himself, began to explain all of the political issues facing Bevelle today. He is most certainly human, but seems to lock his hair in a similar fashion to the Guado. Two long white locks hang on either side of his shoulders, and his curled nose almost makes me wonder if he is part Guado. However other than that he looks distinctly human. I do my best to listen to everything he brings up, but it is challenging.

"We are experiencing a lack of funds in the weapon development sector. Gun and sword production is down 27% due to this as well. Being that we are not expecting any immediate opposition, this decrease is affordable. Maester Kinoc, how do you rule?"

"Let it be. We have no shortage of weapons or soldiers."

"Maester Seymour?"

"Raise the taxes on the Guado 10%. Being recently evangelized, they will agree. If they cause any stir, present to them that they have been given a break due to their recent joining with the Church and will now be upheld with every other civilization's standards." He said it so flatly, like they're not his own people, like he's not half Guado, like he's… a politician. The Guado in the room shuffled a little, but nothing impolite. High Priest Ronan nodded.

"Any objections?" He asked, no one spoke.

"Maester Seymour, expecting a struggle in the near future?" Kinoc asked, loudly enough for us to hear, but not really addressing the group.

"I simply believe in having a full fledged military at all times, your grace." He responds politely. He whispers to me, "this is one of the reasons no one would dare attack Bevelle. We always play with a full deck of cards."

"Funny for a Maester who's neither Minister of Military Affairs or Treasurer to make that call." I faintly hear someone else whisper. Kinoc is Minister of Military Affairs, right? And leader of the Monks and Crusaders… who is Treasurer? I feel like I really should know.

"Next matter of business," High Priest Ronan booms, "what is the movement of the Al Bhed?" Right about now I feel like I should've been paying more attention. That list earlier which was hard to pay attention to is starting to be very very interesting.

"They have been eerily silent. This is unusual for their leader Cid; usually if he's up to something, he's pretty vocal about it." This came from a chocolate haired soldier-looking guy sitting even farther away from me than Kinoc. He's distinctly Bevellian, with the strong brow and jawline and brunette hair. Who is he? A warrior Monk? A Crusader? His attire doesn't give it away.

"Who speaks?" High Priest Ronan asks, looking about almost as if blind. Is he blind?

"Forgive me my grace, I have neglected to introduce my new Master of Intelligence. This is Ramsey, a 5th degree Warrior Monk who has shown an extreme talent for intelligence." He reminded me of Auron then, in the sense that he has "a talent for intelligence." I've learned enough to know that professional speak for "spy."

"He has not completed all of the degrees?"

"No, sir. He was pulled, many degrees ago, and trained specifically for his talent. He has been flying through the degrees ever since, and we expect him to be a 1st degree very soon." Kinoc sounded like a student begging for an extension on a project… or maybe I've been going to school too much.

"Very well." High Priest Ronan turned towards the window for a moment, scratching his chin, beneath a pointed white beard. "Show me this intelligence then. What else have you to offer?" An old Bevellian accent came through with that, and I'm 100% sure he is 100% human.

"The Al Bhed… have been lying low. Many forces have been retracting to 'Home,' their capitol. Previously they were in nearly every corner of Spira; from the Southern islands to Gagazet, in small numbers. This is not unusual for them, as they are known to show their face, even at personal risk, to show bravado…" Ramsey seemed to stumble on his words almost, as the rest of the congregation appeared impatient. This was history almost anyone knew. The Al Bhed have always tried to make their place in mainland Spira, not allowing anyone to forget or outcast them, even at personal risk. If you're going to spit on Al Bhed, you're going to spit on their faces, not behind their backs. "However it is uncommon for them to reach so far. We expect they are plotting something."

High Priest Ronan turned back to the gnarled table at this, and looked directly in Ramsey's direction. "I expect you shall know more by next week's meeting." He held his head high. I almost feel like there is an unspoken… threat, that he will lose his position otherwise.

For a little while, we talked of Priest ascension and how it is on the rise and how new Priests will be sent out to all the Temples, increasing spirit and faith in Yevon. I almost felt like I would be brought up, and so felt a little anxious, but otherwise it was boring.

"The matter of the disappearing Summoners?" Another man stood up then to speak.

"So far, a total of 7 Summoners are reported to us missing. They are mostly reported from the Macalania-Calm Lands areas, but one has been reported from Gagazet and one from Kilika. 7 is right around a concerning number, but not quite. There is an average of 5 Summoners that go 'missing' at any given time. Mostly they are Summoners who quit and went into hiding or their family and village protect them, or they have died. There are years…" I listened to this man speak on the history of disappearing Summoners, which years had high numbers, possibilities, etc. It is more of a report than anything else. It seems almost mandatory, maybe they discuss this every meeting?

"Shall we take any action, Maesters?" No one speaks. Seymour sort of coughs, quietly.

"Next time." He whispers to me. His eyes look much more knowing than concerned. I never learn the name or position of the man who speaks on the disappeared Summoners.

After a few more minor issues, we all pray, repeat a few ancient Yevon prayers, and take our leave one by one. I follow Seymour, naturally. We wait a little ways beyond the double doors.

"Well?"

"Well? What do you mean well?"

"Did you learn?" Does he have some personal task to speak in as few words as possible?

"I mean, sure? Was it necessary to pull me out of class?"

"Oh so necessary, my dear." He turns then, and puts a dagged sleeve around my shoulders and walks us forward. "For one thing, it's not uncommon for a Priest or Priestess in training to attend these," that made me feel better already, "but more importantly you are my wife. You have political importance independent of your Priestess-hood." This makes me vaguely uncomfortable, as it always does, but I know…

He turns to give me a puzzled look then.

"It has… been a while since there has really been a Maester's wife in Bevelle, truth be told." He started us up walking again, "Wen Kinoc never showed interest in marriage, to put it simply. Kelk Ronso supposedly has a wife, or life partner, or whatever they call them-" his disrespect for their culture annoys me, "back at Gagazet but that's all we know. Apparently their customs don't allow her to come to Bevelle, if she exists." If she exists? I find it hard to believe that Bevelle is unsure of that.

"Grand Maester Mika… he was actually married once, a long time ago. We can discuss that more at length another time, if you wish." He looks down at me then, with soft purple-grey eyes, his blue brows slightly lifted. His face actually stuns me for a moment, a rare gentleness, rare uncertainty… and it's gone after a moment, replaced by that arrogant confidence. "Maester Kelk is at Gagazet currently. He is head of the Treasury." He looks at me then, almost uncertain again, but not quite. "He's unaware of the 27% decrease." I look at him puzzled at this, "He's actually under the impression that we are at a 12% increase in funds. He's been sent to Gagazet to… well to celebrate. He's there, with representatives, to express to the Ronso how well he is doing, to raise morale in the Ronso community." We are stopped at this point, looking at each other, my face scrunched in confusion and a little bit of disgust. But what do I say?

"That's not right,"

"It is beneficial, dear."

"How will he feel when he finds out?"

He puts his arm around me again, and gestures toward the large hall of the Church, "He will be hurt, confused, as you are, but he will be grateful. He will be told how my decision saved his poor management of the funds, and how he could learn from such things, and he will be grateful. He will be grateful that I made a decision in his stead that he could learn from, and he will be grateful that his people have faith in him nonetheless."

He got a distant, cloudy look in his eyes at this… His mind is somewhere else, I know it. Planning the future… planning _other people's_ futures… and being so conniving about it. How is he so sure that Maester Kelk will be appreciative? He sounds almost… disciplinary? 'He _will_ be grateful…' or what?

I notice when he turns to look at me that I'm staring. He takes this moment to place a pointed finger under my chin and kiss my lips lightly. I don't object, or feel anything really, because what is something else to be confused about right now anyway?

"You're resilient, Yuna. You could be holding back vomit right now, after this morning, and I wouldn't be any the wiser. And vomiting would be an appropriate reaction to everything you've been through." He breaks my apathy, unwillingly, I chuckle slightly. "How would you like to be there when Kelk returns to Bevelle?" I think on this for a minute, bringing one hand under my chin.

Why would I want to be there? But I feel… cowardly if I refuse, I suppose. What if, what if I'm the only one there to say, this was wrong? I could stand up for him, if no one else does. There, I will do that. I will go, just so he has at least one person in his corner.

"I would, I would like that." Seymour sees the smirk in my eyes through the politeness, and smirks much more obviously in return. For a moment, I have that feeling again, of being naked in front of him, but I don't feel so embarrassed this time.

"I shall see you for dinner tonight. For now, I've arranged you to spend the rest of the day with your guardians. I knew you would like that." I do. Training actually sounds like the best thing in Spira right now. He takes my hand and places his lips softly on it, "Bevelle does need your gentleness, Lady Yuna. I'm glad you agreed to the apprenticeship," he whispers against my skin. It sends a tickling feeling up my spine. He's being very sweet today… has he killed someone again?

I lose myself a little bit in training, after that. With all the thought of killing and how necessary it is, fighting and training has almost been like a taboo subject for me personally. I haven't wanted to think about it any more than necessary. Technically I never wanted to. Technically, the path I chose isn't a violent one, except where absolutely necessary to heal and save lives. I look at my guardians, my friends. What's it like to choose a path that kills? To be a killer? A warrior?

I look at Auron, ex warrior monk, ex clergy, legendary guardian… It's one thing to choose to be a guardian, to choose to fight fiends and to fight Sin, those are monsters. What's it like to be a warrior monk, to know you'll be fighting other people? Have I really been this sheltered? I could ask him. I could ask, if evil people are evil, if evil people must be stopped. He would have a valuable opinion. Hell, they all would. Is that really a right-or-wrong kind of topic?

So, losing myself in training is a funny feeling. I don't mean thinking, like I'm doing now. I mean… _not_ thinking, getting so involved with honing my skills, giving my mind a break and… _training._ Training to hurt. Training with an imaginary enemy who would be dead if he were real. This is why losing myself is a funny feeling. Losing myself in killing imaginary people, without thinking about it, without mourning every time, without asking if it's entirely necessary every time. Am I scared to be a warrior? How do others do it?

As I'm coming up from dismissing Ixion, beads of sweet on my forehead, I notice someone talking to Rikku, a little ways away from me. She's got her hands on her knees, panting from training as well, looking up at him. Is that… Ramsey?

I jerk my head back forward, deciding that maybe it's better if he doesn't notice me noticing, but I keep a green eye on him. That's definitely Ramsey. What's he talking to Rikku for?

Wait, does he think she has intel on the Al Bhed? No way. She's my guardian now. How could she even communicate with her father? Her face looks about as perplexed as I feel, so I know I'm right. She's standing up straight now, scratching the back of her head.

After Ramsey left, I waited a good half hour before approaching Rikku, and only when I knew we could talk relatively privately.

"Rikku, who was that talking to you?"

"Huh? Oh, beats me. Someone trying to get me in trouble for being Al Bhed?" Seymour had pulled all the major strings in Bevelle for Rikku, for me, but her lineage is on a need to know basis. The last thing we need is a press release trying to invalidate us.

She gazed dreamily at the blue sky, hands behind her head, but I saw her eyes flicker towards me for just one second…

"Yunie, I know you weren't raised Al Bhed," she puts gloved hands on my shoulders, the way she does, "but lemme tell you one thing… Family is **very** important to us." What's that supposed to mean? I know that… She joined me, doesn't that say how important family is to her?

Before I know it, Seymour is showing up to take me away again. It's never long enough, with them. I can't believe I took for granted the days we used to spend together from sun up to sun down, even if we were eating rabbit stew. I take one last long gaze at him…

When I look back at Seymour, he's got a disgusted expression, which quickly vanishes of course. Did he… see me looking at Tidus? Oh no… I inhale deeply.

"Isn't the sunset beautiful?" The sunset which so happens to be shining through golden blond locks. His face softens considerably. I exhale, inaudibly.

"You've such a love for simple things," that almost sounded condescending… "It's remarkable." He wraps thick sleeves around me, holding me from behind, while we watch the sunset. He inhales deeply then, sighing happily. Tidus continues to practice the same swing, slightly to the left of the setting sun.

He takes my hand and leads me through the bridges, back to the manor, as dusk begins to settle. The chorus of the city dies down to a low rumble, and the buildings seem to glow.

"Seymour," he lets out a hm as we walk, "how many people know that Rikku is Al Bhed?"

"Just you and I, and your guardians. Why do you ask?"

"What? How is that possible? At Macalania…"

"I'm the Priest at Macalania Temple, Yuna. It never left Macalania." I suppose that makes sense… but that's quite a big favor…

"Th-thank you…" A big favor indeed, but does he ever do big favors without some motive? I try to think of what it could be…

"No need to thank me, my dear. It's the least I could do after all. Are you troubled over something?"

"No, I just…" I'm not even 100% sure it was Ramsey that I saw but, even if it was, is it a good idea to tell him? "We went shopping the other day and I was just wondering how safe stuff like that is, I suppose."

"I see." He says flatly. "No need to worry." We continue walking in silence for a few minutes… "How was training today?"

"Wonderful- I mean, great!" Not wonderful, training to kill? Not the right word… "It was just what I needed." Well that's true anyway. Why do I feel so nervous around him now? And guilty?

"I'm glad to hear it." It feels like I'm playing games with him… keeping secrets, making small talk…

"How about you? How was your evening? More meetings?" I realize we are still holding hands, it's become a lot more natural now.

"Actually I had some family visit this evening."

We stop.

Family?


	16. Chapter 16

So, my 2 year old spilled a huge cup of water on my laptop, and despite all my efforts, it broke. So I got my taxes and bought a new one, and to my amazement my files were still there. Thank goodness for email and how things save to it etc. Sorry for the long amount of time in between. When I read the last chapter about the family I was like, frick, where was I going with that... so happy that my files saved. Still gotta remember all the details. Anyway, ffx is not mine, rated something like T, Seymour x Yuna, spoilers... =)

* * *

He looks at me puzzled, mostly cause 90% of us stopping was me.  
"Who came to visit you?"  
"My uncle and cousin." He has…? Why does he always say so little? Why does he make me ask?  
"I didn't know you had…"  
"Any living family?" Yeah… Hey! You don't have to say it like that. "I know. My father and his brother weren't close, but I spent some time with them when I was young. I try to catch up with them when I can." I almost feel like I sense sadness in his voice, though his explanation was simple enough.  
"Was it a good visit?" He smiles at me then,  
"Yes, it was very good." His smile seems to reach his eyes, something I didn't really know was rare until seeing it now. The city is almost all the way dark now, but his face is illuminated from some distant lamp. We're not far from the manor, funny how I know that. "Let's go get dinner, it's much overdue." He says and takes my hand again, but a picture of that smile stays in my mind. Is that what he looks like when he's happy, really happy, not just being courteous and professional and… conniving? Speaking of dinner, I am starving. There is a table set up in the dining room of the manor when we arrive, and we both eat hastily. I feel like I could eat a whole Behemoth!  
After we eat, we have some herbal tea and sit in front of the window. I look out over the city, feeling the breeze as it becomes chillier, and seeing the lights of the lamps of all the houses. It's picturesque, perfect, I almost want to paint it…  
For a few minutes, I picture what it would be like, to live in a different life…  
Being a Maester's wife, living in a manor, having delicious food made for me everyday, having him as a husband… Waking up with him everyday, going to meetings with him, enjoying all the best company Spira has to offer, being able to shop to my heart's content, living on these blue blue waters and in these golden buildings… having tea with him, sitting in comfortable silence, knowing that tomorrow will be the same. 'How was your day honey?'  
'Funds are down 27%, but we have a 6-week plan to restore and grow them again,' he says as he slings a suit jacket over the chair. 'How's my lovely wife?' he asks as he reaches for me, puts his arms around my waist, and kisses me, smiling.  
'Wonderful, I lead a meeting of young Priestesses today, some of them are even interested in becoming Summoners!' 'I hope not, last time someone showed an interest you took on an apprentice and I had to kiss a pillow for weeks!' We laugh together, it's a stupid joke but it's not stupid to us and that's all that matters because, We are the only two people in the world right now, standing in this room, with his arms around me, looking out over the colorful city, illuminated by the sun. 'We've got the rest of our lives to be together,' I say, not finishing with how we should train as many Summoners as we can, just letting it be a happy statement. 'I intend to enjoy every minute,' he says, nuzzling my neck as I giggle, and then he kisses, soft at first and then harder, and I melt into him. "Yuna?" He says, really, in reality. I jump a little. "Sorry, I was… daydreaming." He smirks a little. "Tell me more about your uncle and cousin."  
"Well, my uncle's name is Marn, and his son's name is Ren. They would babysit me when my parents had to do business or… hide. No one accepted us, remember. Uncle Marn and Ren weren't that much better, but they were still better." Again it's almost like he's talking about someone else's life…  
"Wasn't that hard?" He looks at me, simply… not smirking, or furrowing his eyebrows, looks at me almost as if to ask something… and then looks out the window again.  
"Of course it was." His alto voice is a harsh whisper now. He looks back at me, significantly more sternly, "What of it?" I almost want to be mad, because, why does it seem like he's mad at me? I'm being nice. "Nothing, I… I just want to know more about you, I just… care." I look at my lap… and when I look up again he's looking at me, softened again. He puts one hand over my hand, gently, and looks at them for a moment. We both look out the window again. We're looking out the window together, like in my daydream, only it's nighttime, and it's sad. That's real life… it's not always sunny and colorful and giggly. "No one accepted us. Things weren't always the way they are now. Now, I have the best of both worlds, I am a leader and role model to both human and Guado, but when I was a child, it was just the opposite. I wasn't Guado enough for the Guado and I wasn't human enough for the humans. They were… awful." I squeezed his hand with both of mine.  
"The worst part was… my parents were ok, one human one Guado, and could've separated never to be judged, until they had me. And then, even though they weren't mixed, they were treated like they were, because of me."  
"Seymour, it's not your fault," the words come pouring out of me, "they loved you, and they loved each other, they wanted to have a family, it was wrong of the others to be mean to you…" He turns to look at me.  
"…Thank you. I don't hear that a lot." We sat there like that for a while, just holding hands and looking out at the stars, and their twins, the lamps in the buildings. There were so many things I wanted to say still, about his family, his feelings, training, Tidus… for some reason I feel like I should tell him, but I stayed silent, choosing to enjoy the moment and not to risk ruining it. We stayed like that for I don't know how long, an hour? And kissed and went to bed… separate beds. The next couple days were almost exactly the same; class, training, dinner with Seymour, class, training, dinner… I'm starting to fall into a routine. Last night, I actually did homework after dinner, and he helped me… just a little. But tonight…  
"So, how has training been going?"  
"Great, it's such a privilege to be here in Bevelle, learning under the best."  
"You always say it's great…"  
"It is great," it is, it's great… ok now that word sounds funny. "Is everything okay?" Of course, why wouldn't it be?  
"Well… I've been thinking about what you said, about people being evil, sometimes… I chose to be a Summoner, I chose to train to kill Sin, but then I realized that everyone who made another choice, to be a Guardian or a Crusader or a Warrior Monk, chose their path to kill fiends, but also people, if it comes down to it. I never made that choice, never had to, but now training just feels different I suppose." "Yuna…" He put two heavy-sleeved arms around me. It almost felt suffocating, but not quite. "The world can be ugly, yes, and you chose a more peaceful path, yes, but that doesn't mean you're ignoring the ugliness, or that you're any less strong than those who chose another path. Choosing peace, choosing to see the good in someone is hard, sometimes it's easier to let people like you decide if there is or isn't good in someone and if not then just hack them down," ouch. "Sometimes it's hard to be a warrior and step in front of you when you want to save someone who is only going to be destructive. Those are our lots, one's difficulty doesn't invalidate another's." That did make me feel a little better, somehow. I lean back into his arms, which feel comforting now. I remember his words, Let me be your pillar of strength. He must have felt me lean into him, "Relax, with me, you're home now, not out there trying to see and do good, now is my time to watch, and your time to relax." I did, take a deep breath then, and feel some peace in that moment.  
And then I turned a little to look at him,  
"Seymour, if you do see good in someone, you'll hesitate, right?"  
"Of course, Yuna." We look in each other's eyes a moment, and then, "I've seen a lot of people, Yuna. Barthus… I knew his type, I met him long before you did. Trust me." I want to. Do I really have a choice?  
I feel good, though. I want to trust him, want to believe him, want to take comfort in his words… so, why not? If there's something that can make me feel good, in this so often miserable world, shouldn't I take it?  
So I do. I go to sleep happy and wake up happy the next morning, and take my schooling in stride. I power through training, even learning a new white magic spell, have dinner with him and go to sleep happy again.  
The next day, though I wake up happy, something bad happens. Sir Hiran Ronso has "dropped out" of the program.


	17. Chapter 17

So, question? How does everyone handle the M Rated stuff? I mean... There's just a couple things, and if any kids are reading do I REALLY expect them to just not read a couple paragraphs? Or even a separate chapter? No. So do I make the whole story M? What even is M? Or R? Guess I should research.

Sorry it's been a while, thanks for sticking with me =) this is fun.

Rated T. Spoilers. AU. Yuna x Seymour (Lulu x Wakka? Rikku x Auron? Sorry Kimahri.) ummmmm I always forget one...

You can't really drop out, as no one is really kicked out or quits the program technically, but you can just stop going and basically forfeit. And apparently Hiran has done that. I mean it's not necessarily tragic, or bad, not like Barthus… but it is still sad, I suppose. There are only five of us left now. It's only the beginning of the second week.

Speaking of which…

Seymour 'informs' me that tonight, I'll be staying at the inn with Rikku and Lulu. A sort of 'slumber party' in celebration of the first week's ending. (Him trying to dance around the word was funny… overnight festivities… girlfriend celebration… he really was raised in the higher ups.)

So when it came time to retreat for the night, I went to the inn where Rikku and Lulu are staying, and we ordered out for dinner.

They also delivered wine.

Lulu seemed quite comfortable with the additional delivery, gently nursing a glass or two with dinner. Rikku, on the other hand…

"Alcohol!? Yuna, they let us have alcohol in Bevelle! We're underage! Woohoo!" And then she took a sip… and was physically repulsed. "Yeulch! Why do people like this stuff? What is this? Bevelle Sauvignon? What in Spira?" But after half a glass, she wasn't complaining about it anymore.

It was rather shocking to the tongue, but still delicious, and effective. Within the hour, we were chattering like adolescents. Well, mostly listening.

"The shopping here is so amazing! You just can't see everything, you just can't!"

"Rikku… how much of our reserve have you spent…"

"And the food! They have almost every region's cooking here, Besaid, Gagazet, they even have some stuff that's close to what we make back Home! Not exactly, of course, but pretty close! Man, I can almost picture being home in some of those restaurants!" Lulu gave up on getting an answer and conceded to shaking her head, looking in her lap. "Aw, come on, Lu," Lulu shot her a look that could kill when she called her that, "I mean, uh, Lulu; tell me you haven't enjoyed some of Besaid's classic stir fry!"

She blushed a little. "Yes, of course, but I wouldn't call it classic…"

"Man, I'm gonna gain 50 pounds while we're here! Ok, maybe 50 is a lot… hey, wanna place bets on it? Doesn't that sound like fun?" She releases a big breath and puts the back of her hand to her head. "Huh, so this is what it feels like."

"Seems like she's slowing down," Lulu says to me.

"So let's talk boys!" She pipes right back up. Lulu puts a lacy sleeve to her head, shaking it, and the whole thing makes me giggle.

"How about we place bets on how many glasses of wine it takes for her to be normal speed," Lulu whispers to me.

"Hey, no secrets! Tell us ALL what kind of crazy escapades you've been up to, Lulu!" She blushes, for real this time.

"What? What are you talking about?" She rasps, regaining herself quickly.

Rikku doesn't know about Chappu, right? I hope this doesn't go badly…

"Come on, you can't tell me that Wakka looks at you like he does for no reason!"

"That idiot? You really think I could-" Rikku's burst of laughter drowned out anything else Lulu might have said, and I couldn't help but laugh quite a bit myself.

"Ok, ok, but is there anyone else you've thought about? What about Auron?" Rikku bit her lip a little, is she finally embarrassed of being so forward?

"Well, he's certainly mature, intelligent, and he is handsome…"

"Ahhh? So what do you think?"

Lulu looked in her lap a moment, "I don't know if…" she trails off. Maybe, it's too much for her…

I butt in with "Hey, he's basically my uncle, I don't want to think about that!" We all giggled at that, giggled and then laughed out loud and then practically guffawed… well, Rikku guffawed. She stayed pretty animated but we could tell the wine was affecting her little by little. That girl is perpetually hasted, I think!

We talked and played some games and talked more, and surprisingly Lulu was the first to go to sleep. Rikku joked about drawing on her or some other pranks, but we decided it best not to wake up in a fira fury…

And just when I was starting to think Rikku had reverted to a 10 year old…

"Hey Yunie, you remember those summers we spent together?"

Of course I do… before… before everything, my parents would visit Home every summer, and some other times throughout the year… until… my mother died on a trip there, when I was 4… my father tried to keep up with visiting here and there, but it didn't work out…

"Yes, of course, but I didn't know if you did…" Rikku is a year and a half younger than I am, so she was mostly a toddler when I was there.

"Yeah, I remember."

"You were the one who told me to seek Cid out if I ever needed help… You said, 'he's the leader and the boss and a super hero!'" I say, trying to mimic her child-like voice. We both laughed, a little. "But I never did meet him."

"Yeah, he was always out doin stuff, meetings and building and fixin stuff. He wasn't too good at raisin kids." Her Al Bhed accent is starting to come out. "Hey, do you remember the last time you were there?"

I think… I was 5, or maybe 6. My father had pretty much decided to become a Summoner right after my mother died, but didn't start training for a couple years because I was still so little. I could tell it was on his mind, though. I told him, once, to go get it, go get Sin, go get it for hurting mom… and I try so hard not to regret saying that to him, but when I miss him really badly, sometimes I do…

"I think I do," I answer her, after getting lost in my own thoughts.

"We were all playing at the beach, remember?"

"Yes, I remember that." I do… not much else, but I do. I remember her yellow swimsuit and I think I had a blue one, and her older brother was there, but he was 'too cool' to swim. Rikku scooted closer to me and lay her head on my shoulder.

"We were swimming, and then a fiend was there," and it all started coming back to me.

"I was there when that happened?!"

"Yeah, Yunie. Brother," doesn't she mean 'my brother?' "he hit me with a thunder spell. You guys pulled me out of the water and I was out… but you, you said you saw your dad do healing spells before, and you had never done any, but you knew what he looked like when he did it and… Brother," (my brother?) "told you how to focus when doing magic and you focused really hard and you cast Cure on me…" It all came back to me, and I don't know why I didn't remember until now… "We all agreed not to say anything so none of us would get in trouble… But Yunie… I always thought that you saved my life that day." She couldn't say it when we were all in the Thunder Plains because that would've revealed my half Al-Bhed lineage. Wow, that was really sweet of her.

"I'm sure you would've been ok, I was just a kid…"

She sat up and looked at me then. "No, I think you saved my life, so Yunie… when I found out you were gonna be a Summoner, I wanted… no, I want to return the favor. Maybe I can't change your mind about doing the pilgrimage, but I'll do everything I can, and I'll always be here for you if you ever do wanna quit, I won't judge you, you can come to Home if you want…" She started looking down, and tears started to pool in her eyes…

"Rikku," I put my hands on her shoulders, "thank you. I love you too." And we hugged and a few tears left my eyes but I can't let her know that or it'll be a huge sobbing session… so we hug for a few minutes, and talk about our summers a little more until she completely passes out, almost falling to the floor, but I catch her and put her head in my lap.

For a little while, I stroke her golden hair. She looks almost just like the toddler I remember when she's sleeping, she's still got a little baby fat in her cheeks. She cares for me so much, and her heart is so big… thinking about the pain this is all gonna cause her almost makes me want to give it up… but I can't.

I remember then, why I forgot about that day. Soon after all of that, we went home to Bevelle, and that was the day we all met Jecht.


End file.
